Literature, lust and love - Professor Romanoff

TWENTY-FIVE

"Aunt Lisa! You tell the same story every year and it's still just as embarrassing every time!" I groaned as I hid my red cheeks into my arms as my family heartily laughed around me. Natasha's hand slipped onto my knee and squeezed it slightly, making me look up at her so that I saw her gorgeous smile.

"I'm sorry Desi, but you walking up to a statue of one of our founding fathers to take a picture and then have a flock of seagulls shit on you, is pretty funny." Robin laughed as I scowled at my best friend's mom.

"So, Natasha, what about you? Any fun family trips in your childhood?" My mom asked from across the table as the last of the pie was being passed around.

Natasha's hand dropped from my knee and I saw her swallow a lump in her throat. I started to get a nervous feeling when I saw her normally poised posture falter.

"Uh, my mom died when I was just a baby, so I was in a form of childcare all my life. But I do have a sister that I connected with a couple years back, but she lives in Europe at the moment."

"I'm so sorry to hear that Natasha, any time you want to join our family activities, you're more than welcome." Mom tried to hide from her embarrassment on diming the mood but seemed relieved when Natasha replied gratefully. But I couldn't shake the feeling that Natasha was hiding her emotions from everyone, and I wanted nothing less than to hold her and comfort her. She's never really brought up her childhood but I always felt an iciness around her memories of it.

"I'm going to get more whipped cream!" I loudly said as I stood up from the table, giving Natasha a look, whose eyes widened with understanding. A minute later, she joined me in the hallway and I pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry my mom brought that up, Tasha." I whispered into her hair.

"It's fine, Desi. Nothing's the issue, I promise." Her voice was stern but I didn't believe her, but I didn't push.

"You look beautiful tonight," I added, pulling back and looking her up and down. She was wearing black flared trousers and a silk shirt, and her red hair was flowing freely behind her ears.

"You're certainly the prettiest one at the table, Desi," Natasha purred back and I giggled under her gaze.

Alex walked past us and smirked. "Look up, lovebirds."

We did and I mentally face-palmed at my positioning. Looming above us was the mistletoe I had been thinking about at breakfast. Glancing behind Natasha to make sure no one was coming, I leaned forward with a playful smirk.

"It's bad luck if you don't kiss under mistletoe."

"Oh, I'm sure it is Miss Dunn," Natasha smirked back before joining our lips together in a sweet kiss. "Come on, let's go back before they start to get suspicious."

We walked back into the dining room to see my dad open the bottle of whiskey, signifying that dinner was over and the more adult festivities were beginning. Alex and I were always banished from this and this year was no exception. So, we always passed our time by playing cards on the deck outside. We were into our second game of slam when Natasha breezed out and sat next to me.

"I started to get a little bored and left out of their conversations so I thought I'd join you, if that's okay? I'm interrupting the bestie-bonding?"

Alex snorted. "No, in fact, you're just in time to see Desi lose against the king of cards."

I played against Alex for the next hour with Natasha as my cheerleader, even when I lost the majority of the games. I squealed as I won the round and Alex groaned as he sunk deeper into his seat.

"That's my girl," Natasha whispered into my ear, making me shiver under her breath.

"Tasha!" I whisper-wined as she softly giggled. Alex coughed as his parents walked out onto the patio, making Natasha and I shift apart.

"Come on Alexio! Time to go home and wait for Santa!" Dave boomed out, clearly under the influence of a few too many drinks. Robin clutched onto his arm to stop him from swaying around as she said her goodbyes to Natasha and I. Alex left with a wave, and my own parents soon came outside to say goodnight.

"See you in the morning, ladies!" My dad smiled, kissing me in the head before giving a slightly confused Natasha a fist bump.

"Natasha, I'm so sorry for bringing up your past, it wasn't very sensitive of me." If my looks could kill, my mom would be hiding away in a closet from the glare I was trying to send her. "I hope you feel welcomed into this family, especially at Christmas, because I know how lonely it can be."

"Thank you Amy, it's okay, really. Sleep well." Natasha painfully smiled, watching my mom walk up the stairs, following my dad. I leant forward and placed my chin on her shoulder. I didn't say anything because I know she would shut me down, but I still wanted to give her some comfort before we parted for the night.

I gave her a goodnight kiss at the bottom of the stairs, watching her trudge up them to her room, whilst I turned off all the lights and made my way to the basement. Once I was there, I quickly got into my pyjamas and did my skincare as the fatigue started to hit me. Within five minutes, I was under my duvet and shutting my eyes. About ten minutes of sleeplessness passed before I heard my door creak open and a body walk over to me. The bed sank and I rolled over to face my girlfriend, who was also in her pyjamas.

"Told you you'd end up in my bed soon enough." I teased, unable to see her face in the dark.

"I didn't want to be alone going into Christmas," Natasha's broken voice sent shivers down my body, but not the good kind.

"Come here, my love," I beckoned, watching her outline crawl over to me and I felt her head land on my chest. "You could never be alone, Tasha, because I will always been in there," I tapped on her chest.

"I'm so grateful for you Desi," Natasha whispered, only causing me to kiss her forehead and hold her tighter to me.

I decided to bite the bullet and ask her, "Do you want to talk about it, Tasha?"

She took a big sigh and rested her chin on my chest. "I was left on the street like garbage as a baby, and the man who took me in was less than human. I went through things no child should have to endure, and I'm constantly haunted by the memories. I finally got out and that's when I met Clint, and my life changed for the better. You, make it better."

"Tasha," I forced her to make eye contact, "You are not garbage. This might not mean much, but you are everything to me, and to so many other people. You have value, and worth, and your pain only makes you stronger, and you are the strongest woman I know."

"It means everything to me, Desi." Natasha's voice broke and I could feel a tear land on my chest.

"I love you endlessly, Natasha Romanoff, never forget that."

We lay in silence until we heard the grandfather clock go off in the living room.

"Merry Christmas, my love." I whispered.

"Merry Christmas, angel," she replied, and we fell asleep holding each other.