The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Thirty Five

He pulled me inside the car and when I finally went in, I jolted on my seat when he slammed the door harshly.

Pumunta agad siya sa driver's seat at humawak nang mahigpit sa manibela. I heard him sighed furiously. I tried to reach for him but he swatted me.

"What did I do wrong?" Magkadikit na ngayon ang kilay ko. Alam kong hindi ko dapat gamitin ang ekspresyon na iyon ngayon ngunit hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. Nalilito na ako sa mga tumatakbo sa isip niya. He went inside the building with his light face but exited with a grim expression.

"What's your plan?" Sabi niya sa akin at tumitig nang mariin sa mukha ko. I still don't get it.

"I don't have any plan for today. Why? Are we going somewhere?" I'm still clueless pero baka iyon nga ang tinutukoy niya.

"Damn it, Sol. Don't act dumb this time." Nanahimik lang ako at hinintay siyang tapusin ang sasabihin niya kahit na may munting parte sa loob ko na parang kumirot. "I'm talking about you passing the exam. I know you always plan everything ahead. Alam kong bago ka mag-exam may plano ka na at hindi lang pagpasa ang nais mo." Sobrang pula na ng mukha niya at natatakot akong pag sinagot ko ang sinasabi niya ay mas lalo siyang sumabog.

"Answer me," he muttered in pure coldness that made me flinch.

"I want to be a US CMA."

His nose flared when he heard it. "You'll leave me here?!"

I flinched again. "It's only for two years," I reasoned out.

"What about us? Akala ko ba magpapakasal tayo?"

"Wala naman akong sinabi na walang kasal na magaganap. I'll still marry you after two years. Let's call it a long term engagement."

"Why? Bakit mo ito ginagawa?"

"I want to grow. I want to go outside my comfort zone and if I'll only stay in one place, I will never grow no matter how long I'll wait."

Nanginig ako nang makitang mukhang mas lalong hindi nasiyahan si Alek sa sinabi ko. Napatalon ako sa kinauupuhan ko nang hampasin niya ang manibela. "What reason is that? You are so selfish!"

"That's not true. I'm also thinking of our future. I want to save for the future."

"Am I, in any way, not making you feel secure for the future? I have my parents for that!"

I blinked. "So, should we depend on your parents for the rest of our lives?" I whispered. Hindi ko alam na uunahin niyang sabihin ang mga magulang niya kaysa ang sarili niya. Alesya is still depending on their parents. Makikihati rin ba siya?

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko at hindi makapagsalita. Natahimik bigla ang paligid namin.

"You were never satisfied. With everything I do, or I will do. I always see that in your face."

"I don't think that's true," giit ko. Above all the accusations people can throw at me, this one hurts the most. I am satisfied with everything he did. I appreciate everything. If I can feel the dissatisfaction he insists, that's probably towards me. I still wanted to grow... I wanted to venture out and explore new things... out of their company and be a bigger person. And that's what he never understands. That's what I always fail to make him understand.

It always results in this... always quarreling. Leaving one of us hurt during the process.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked helplessly. Sa pag-uusap kasi namin, kahit yata anong gawin ko ay lumalala lang ang sitwasyon.

"Stop that plan. Stay here."

"I cannot do that," pamimilit ko. Para saan pa ang mga ginawa ko? I passed the exam but it seems like my hard work won't be paying off if I don't pursue my plan. "Hindi ba puwedeng maghintay ka muna?"