The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Twenty Eight

The whole ride with him was kinda suffocating. We were silent. O baka ako lang at kahit nangangati na ang labi niyang magsalita ay kinukonsidera niya ako. Tingin ko ay alam niya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. If you were in my position, sitting in my seat and battling the silence between lovers, you would think that we will be attending a funeral instead of a date.

I am mad. Nagkamali ako nang sabihin kong babaliwalain ko lang ito. I am not that innate in controlling my emotions, especially my anger. Hindi ko kaya kalimutan lang ang pag-aalala ko at ang pagtungo dito niya nang nakainom ng alak. He doesn't know the feeling of fear it formed to me, it hasn't even fully subside.

Huminto kami nang biglang um-appear ang red sa stoplight. I flinched when he took my hand under my guard and took it on his lips, giving my knuckles fluttery kisses.

He always do this when red light starts to appear on the stoplight. He always give me his whole attention, kahit sa pinakamaliit na paraan pa iyan.

He looked at me regretfully. Umiwas tuloy ako ng tingin. "Sorry," he said. Narinig ko ang tunog ng pagtanggal niya ng seatbelt niya at naramdaman ang labi niya sa tuktok ng ulo ko.

Napapikit ako ng mariin. I don't want to be swayed with his sweet approach easily. Ayaw kong maging marupok nang gano'n gano'n lang. I cleared my throat to produce a cold voice before I started speaking. Tumingin ako ng diretso sa mata niya at pinatiling matatag ang sarili ko. "Mag-seatbelt ka. Lasing ka na nga, wala ka pang seatbelt. Are going to make another penalty, Alekya?"

Natigilan siya sa pakikitungo ko. Malamang. Hindi pa ako nagalit ng ganito. He stared at me for a while before he made a heavy sigh. "I hope you won't treat me that way later. I want us to celebrate this day because it is special for the two of us. I admit that I made a mistake and I hope you'll forget about it later. Gusto ko lang magsaya tayo mamaya. Kahit magalit ka ulit sa akin kaagad bukas, ayos lang. Susuyuin at susuyuin kita."

Lumingon ako sa labas at hindi na siya pinansin pa. I don't want to ruin this night either. But sadly, it's already ruined for me. I guess I have to build my spirit for this date again in order for the two of us to enjoy.

Sinaway ko ang sarili ko. Alek is tired. I am tired. I am angry but I don't want to confront him. Kung aawayin ko siya, mas mapapagod ako. Mas mapapagod siya sa pag-eexplain. Baka hindi na namin ma-appreciate ang date na pinilit namin ituloy ngayong gabi.

We arrived at a particular restaurant that seems stuck and familiar in my memory. It took me a while to unravel that memory in my brain.

Seconds, and I realized it was the first restaurant we went to two years ago, on our first date as an official couple.

Agad akong lumingon sa kanya nang nagtataka ang mga mata. Isang ngiti ang nakuha kong sagot sa kanya. It was a surprised for me of how he was keeping that information in his head since before.

"Do you still remember this place?"

Dahan-dahan ko siyang tinanguhan. And it seems like answering him using a signal was not enough, thus I opened my mouth and used a soft voice, a word coming out of it was almost a breath, "yes."

Nakita ko kung paano siya nasiyahan sa sinabi ko. "Kailan pa nasa isip mo ito?"

He laughed. He laughed so hard that it almost made me believe what I just said was a joke. "Naisip? I didn't forget about it. It's stuck in my head because it's important for the both of us." I saw the wrinkles on his eyes again.

I pursed my lips to keep me from smiling. My heart was swelling with what he said. Alam kong mababaw pero big deal sa akin na may nakakaalala ng smallest detail tungkol sa akin.