The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Eight

I was in faze during the duration of being with him together with Kuya Lito in the van. Tahimik lang ako no'n at ipinagpapasalamat ko na hindi na nag-initiate pa ng conversation si Alek sa akin.

I'm afraid to talk to him at that very moment. Ang tanging gusto ko lang ay iwasan siya pero mukhang imposible dahil nakisakay ako sa sasakyan niya.

The minimum thing I could do was put the books I will take home beside him.  Napapagitnaan namin ang libro kaya medyo narelaxed ako nang kaunti.

If only I could sit at the back, but I know he'll ask me why so I didn't do it. Ayoko talagang makipag-usap muna sa kanya.

The whole ride was silent and I intended to keep it that way, but not this awkward.  And in order to escape from that feeling, I used my phone as a distraction.

Tumambay lang ako sa Facebook at nag-scroll para tumingin sa mga shared posts ng mga friends ko doon. I also reacted to lots of it, even if I do not interact well in virtual.

Hindi ko rin alam kung tama ba ang ginagawa kong pag-haha. Baka mamaya ay kailangan pa lang i-sad or heart pero iyon ang pinili ko. I mentally pin in my head that I needed to check my activity log later.

My eyes were fixed on the screen but my senses and attention were into the man beside me... err, beside the book that was beside me.

Nakarating kami sa bahay nang sobrang dilim na sa labas. I hurriedly scooped all my books in one arm and opened the door to run towards my house. I did not even throw a single glance at them, even outside the window.

Hindi ko na iyon magawa lalo na at pagbukas ko palang ng pinto, tumambad na sa akin si Mama na nakakrus ang braso.

I gulped as I see her grim face. Dahan dahan kong ibinaba ang dala kong bag at mga libro. Sinubukan kong ngumiti na ang kinalabasan ay isang ngiwi. It's like the gates of hell were bound to loose and I guess it's the consequences of my mistakes.

After that sermon, I began to satisfy my overdued starvation. Gusto ko na sanang matulog pagkatapos ngunit may responsibilidad pa ako pagkatapos kumain.

I was busy drying my hands on the towel after washing the plates when Mama's scary voice started to call my whole name.

"Myra Solanna Quijano."

I swear, I felt my back shiver when I heard her. Parang may nagawa na naman kasi ako na mali.

Dahan-dahan akong humarap sa kanya at nakita ko ang kamay niyang nasa bewang. "Nagturok ka ba ng insulin mo?"

I grimaced and sighed in utter annoyance. Bakit ko ba nakakalimutan minsan? Goodness gracious, that was essential!

Tumaas ang kilay ni Mama nang makita ang reaksiyon ko. Alam na niya ang sagot.

Binuksan ko an refrigerator at kinuha ang imsulin ko. I replaced the old needle into a new one and took my cotton and alcohol. Nagturok na ako at pagkatapos no'n ay ibinalik ko na ang insulin ko sa ref.

I smiled sheepishly at my mother when I returned, but she didn't return the same energy I was giving off.

I sighed as I went inside my room. The exhaustion was still there, but I am no longer sleepy. Parang nawalan ako bigla no'n nang sermonan ulit ako ni Mama kanina pagkatapos kong mag-take ng shot.

Pasalampak akong humiga sa kama. There's no way I am going to read all the books now. I don't care if our trainors going to review us again tomorrow. My energy was drained today and all I could do is to rely on Alek's intelligence. Tama na iyong kalahating araw kaming nagbasa ngayon. For sure, bukas ay buong araw na. O more than kalahating araw. And I will surely go home late again tomorrow.