The Lost Helianthus (COMPLETED)

Chapter Six

Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin nang ilapag ko ang libro na ibinigay niya sa akin. I made sure to put it in my notes so I won't forget to give it back to him this Monday.

"Ano ito?"

"Your book that became mine, and now yours again."

Nagdikit ang mga makakapal niyang kilay sa narinig. "Why?"

I shrugged, trying to look unaffected. "Wala lang," I said nonchalantly but I was biting the insides of my cheeks.

I don't have any reasons not to do it. It will stop me from overthinking things, to lessen another stressor. Ayaw ko lang talagang tumanggap nang kahit ano lalo na kung walang hinihinging kapalit. Mukhang suspicious.

What would be his reason why he gave me a book that holds a value? Kasi close kami? Ang gara niya.

I mean we are close, but not that close. But there will ever be a competition, I will instantly become the winner. Ako lang naman ang nakakausap niya kasi. Technically, walang competition.

But it doesn't mean that he could give me books or other expensive things whenever he wanted to. Para hindi na ako mag-isip nang kung ano-ano.

Kami ngang mga magkakaibigan ay nagdadamutan na sa mga mumurahing pagkain, what more sa mga tangible na bagay?

Kaya hindi ko magets kung bakit ganito. O hindi ko lang talaga gets dahil baka iba ang kalakaran sa mga nakaaangat sa buhay.

Still, kailangan kong putulin ang pag-iisip nang kung ano-ano. At mapuputol lang iyon kung mawawala ang puno't dulo nito.

All because of this fucking book.

Of course, I won't say that to him. Baka pagtawanan niya lang ako kung gaanong kababaw na rason ito. Mababaw sa kanya pero sa akin ay hindi. Ayaw ko lang talaga mag-isip ng kung ano-ano.

"Really?"

"Really."

He eyed me and I instantly avoided it. Iyon na naman iyong mga tinginan niya na parang pinag-aaralan kung anong nasa isip ko.

"You are uncomfortable receiving gifts, aren't you?"

I stilled. Kalaunan ay tumango ako. "Yeah." Now that he knows the reasons why, for sure he will understand me.

"Okay."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. "Great," I replied and handed him the brownies I baked. Tinanggap naman niya ang tupperware. I hoped he won't lost it.

"I'm going back," I formally said. Medyo dumarami na rin kasi ang mga tao na pumapasok.

I saw how his forehead creased. "Hindi mo pa naibabalik iyong libro."

"Hindi pa." I was kinda afraid that he want it back now. Hindi ko pa kasi tapos na basahin iyon. I know he was surprised because it only takes me 2-3 days before I return the book I borrowed.

"Why?" I stayed silent. "I mean, curious lang ako. It only takes you 2-3 days before you finish a whole book. Nagtataka lang ako. You may not answer, if you prefer."

"Pumunta kasi ang mga kaibigan ko sa bahay. I spent my Sunday with them."

Tumango siya. "You have friends?"

I squinted my eyes. Anong tingin niya sa akin? Wild animal? Mukha ba talaga akong masungit at intimidating para layuan ng lahat ng tao? Kung ganoon, ano sina Asher at Ami? Mapagtiis?

Lumikot ang mata niya. "I mean, you have friends, yes. They can go to your house freely?"

I nodded.