Drop in the Ocean (Upper East Side Three)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

27 - Desperately

I know it hurts, but the reality is... the world will break you. The world will stifle and challenge your soul. From the expectations of its people... from the way you expect people to see you.

I'm sorry I failed. I'm sorry I failed my studies. I'm sorry I failed my parents. I'm sorry I failed myself.

But in that process, I came to know that failing is a part of our existence. It will always be there in times of challenges that come our way.

Naintindihan kong kahit magkamali ay hindi pa rin ito magiging kahulugan na isa kang masamang tao. Na isa kang taong walang pangarap. Because it will never be. Failing will never demean yourself.

I decided to drop out. I knew it was a tough decision to make, but I needed to do it. I knew that staying there would risk me more. I knew I could do it, but I felt it was not right to push through anymore.

There are too many problems and challenges that hinder me from going on. But I believe that time will come that I can do it. And if given that opportunity, I will never take it for granted again. I'll give my best until I reach my dreams.

The next day, after going to school to get my documents and telling them I was dropping out, I went to see Reizo.

Natuwa ako nang hindi na gumagawa ng excuses si Reizo para makita ko siya simula noong araw pagkatapos kong hinabol ang sasakyan niya.

Hindi nga lang ako nakapunta kaagad dahil nilagnat ako. Pero pagkatapos noon ay lagi na ulit akong pumupunta dito mismo sa opisina niya.

"Reizo." Lumingon siya sa akin. Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo niya.

"You didn't go here yesterday. I thought you were going."

"Uh..." Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong sabihin.

"Why? You went to see him again?" Nagulat ako sa tanong niya.

"Hindi, Reizo..." Mababa kong sabi sa kanya.

I saw how he closed his fists tightly and clenched his jaw firmly. Halatang-halata na galit siya dahil sa tagal kong sumagot at pag-aakala niyang nakipagkita ako kay Ridge.

"Okay." He coldly replied and went back to reading the documents he was holding.

I knew that Reizo was angry at me again. I was aware that he became cold and back to doubting me again because of what happened for the second time.

"I didn't see him, Reizo." Ulit ko sa kanya. But he acted like he didn't hear it and never responded.

Nangilid ang luha ko sa pagdaan ng sakit at bigat sa nararamdaman ko. I looked up hard to prevent my tears from falling.

Hindi ko naman masabi na binitawan ko ang pag-aaral dahil alam kong magagalit siya doon. I don't want him to know about that and it almost sends me a message that once he knows about it, he'll be disappointed again with me for the nth time.

I exhaled deeply. "Reizo... pwede bang pakinggan mo muna ako?" Nanghihina kong tanong sa kanya kasabay ng paghakbang malapit sa kanya.

I maintained my distance after what happened but now, I tried to be closer. Nakita ko ang pag-angat ng tingin niya nang makita ang paglapit ko.

"Stop." Malamig niyang sabi sa akin.

"Reizo, please..." He shook his head. But even though he was telling me to stop, I tried again. I reached for his hand, but he moved it away.

With the shock that I felt, I hurriedly pulled my hand back, and unfortunately, I carelessly spilled the glass of water on his table.

Nangilid ang luha ko nang makita ang pagdaloy ng tubig sa mga dokumento sa harapan niya dahil sa pagkakatabig ko sa baso sa lamesa niya. I looked up and met his cold and dark eyes.