All I ask | Chris Evans

4

~ I listened to love in the dark whilst writing this btw~

"So how come your off to England?" Chris asked, taking a sip of the beer in his hand.

"I just need a break, and I haven't seen Grandma in a while so I thought what a better time than now" I answered honestly.

"Need a break? How long are you going for?" he furrowed his brow, a concerned expression across his face.

"I don't know yet, I haven't booked a return ticket" I shrugged unbothered.

"Is there anything to make you stay?". I paused at that question, taking a long, long sip of my beer before answering.

"Not anymore." I replied bluntly. There was a glimpse of hurt in his eyes, but I didn't care anymore. "Did Scott tell you?"

"No Mom did. Your Dad told her". I nodded. "What do you mean by you need a break?" he questioned.

"Nothing here makes me happy anymore, and I'm sick and tired of being unhappy at the moment" I answered truthfully. Part of me wanted him to experience the full impact of hurt that he put me through.

"I used to make you happy" he said so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"Yeah the key words being 'used to'" I shot back.

"What went wrong?" he frowned.

"I don't know you tell me, because as far as I'm concerned I was and still am always the one being hurt in this relationship. I'm going because I need to not love you. Because I really don't wanna fucking do that anymore" my voice began to raise, he was getting quieter so I needed to get louder. This was the time that I was in control, I was getting how I felt across and it wasn't going to be muted, I wasn't going to be walked all over again.

"You think I wanna still love you?" he piped up, "Because I love you, I love you so fucking much. It terrifies me."

"You know you were it for me. I didn't want to be with anyone else, ever. So when I said we need to work on ourselves and come back when we are ready, I didn't mean go start dating some other girl two months after. I don't think you understand what you feel Chris. I think you want me to love you and be reserved for you, and you get to do whatever the fuck you want with no consequences because you always have me to fall back on. I tell you what Chris, I'm no longer an option for you, you don't get to have me to fall back on anymore!" I yelled, and he sat there silently. "Now you can get out. I've got shit to do" I said bluntly. He placed his beer bottle down on my coffee table and left.

I let out a small sob of relief, it felt like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I couldn't be more ready to go off to Brighton. I took out the largest suitcase I owned, setting it down on my bed and I began packing, it felt too early to start packing. Putting basically all the clothes I owned in this one suitcase, I felt ready to leave right now. I shot a quick text to my dad saying that I would drive to him tomorrow, and maybe try book an earlier flight. And I smiled, a truly genuine, excited smile.

~can we all agree that Olivia is a bad bitch? I cannot wait for you to meet Grandma, I've based her off my own Grandma who is one of the best people I know, she is hilarious your gonna love her~