I can't say I do without you

Mama

Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my skirt. That's when I stopped weeping. I came to a halt for a brief period, took my phone from my pocket. When Mama's name showed on the screen, I was surprised. I wasn't expecting her to call. I brushed away my tears before answering the phone.

"M-ma?"

She coughs and clears her throat. "How are things going for you? Are you eating well? Come back if they don't adequately feed you." I want to tell her I want to go home right now, but her voice makes me feel like I can. Her voice persuaded me I was too far away to give up.

"Yes, I'm eating well. It was as though I was gaining weight because of the luxurious taste of their food."

"Good, because if they don't feed you right, I'll go there myself to bring you home."

"Ma... I know you're wondering if I regret my decision. If I said I hadn't repented, I'd be lying. Every day, I regret not being with you guys, squandering every second, minute, and hour of my time to look after the prince rather than my siblings... Losing something every day crushes my heart. I'm scared that one day you, too, would vanish, so I did it all to keep it from happening."

"You must be having a difficult time dealing with everything..." I brushed away my tears, but tears came anyway. "It was heartbreaking to watch you sacrificing yourself. If only I could hold you and let the torrent of your tears soak through my shirt as I usually do when you weep."

A huge sob escaped my lips once. "MAMA! I can't bear with this any longer. M-my heart feels as though it's ready to burst."

Through the phone, I can hear Mama weeping. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No," I said, nodding. Even if I'm in pain or having a difficult time here, I won't go without my papa. And now that I've heard Mama's voice, I'm not going down without a fight. I'll go through anything for my family. I'm going to keep going!

I smiled at myself. I gathered up the books, rose as if nothing had happened, and returned the books to the library. Because of that phone call from mama, I mustered the courage to confront everything again, to meet Prince Augustus, who was pleased and unaffected by what he was doing.

––––––––

I ran into Raeanna across the hallway. She waited for me to come back. "I know you're not okay, so I won't ask." She paused. "You wouldn't have fallen down the stairs if I hadn't arrived late. If you are in pain, please tell me, and I will take you to the clinic as quickly as possible."

"I'm fine. Everything is fine." I paused. "When did you return? I thought you had already chosen not to return."

"Well, people change their mind."

"Glad you changed your mind. Will you be staying here permanently?"

"No, I will still return to Scotland. I just requested an extension of my stay for another few weeks. Many projects await me in Scotland, but before I can fully move there, I must finish all of my unfinished business here."

"Prince Augustus is the unfinished business."

She gently giggled. "I need to clear up all of our misunderstandings, even though I know it's difficult for Cynfael to trust all the explanations, but at least he listened to all that happens, which would help to ease his animosity."

"Even if it means you won't be together?"

She smiled, nodded her head in agreement. "As long as I can tell the prince everything."

I stepped over her and wrapped her in my arms. Raeanna's heart was hurting as she clutched me. She appears to be content with her decision, but I know her heart is broken. "You are extremely similar to someone I know. Both you and papa tormented yourselves more than the people around you, plus the fact that you are both excellent decision-makers. I hope you'll be OK once you've resolved all of your issues with the prince."

"Enough of this. I came here to see if you're okay after you badly fell down the stairs." She let go of my grip on her. "Go back to your class. They're about to begin."

I gently turned my back on her and was ready to walk away when I remembered the poster I had taken from the bulletin board. The one about Amarillo's second practice game against Fort Street Academy. "Raeanna..." I turned back to her, "if you're not too busy tomorrow, come back here. I believe he'll be pleased to see you at the practice game." I took the poster from my pocket and handed it to her.

"Fort Street Academy?" She barely whispers.

"And one more thing, can you not hide behind bleachers? No one forbids you to sit next to students," I said as I eventually walked away from her.

As I entered the homeroom, I was met with the prince's sorrowful expression. My thoughts kept returning to what had happened earlier.

Someone tapped me on my arm and mouthed a question at me. "Do you wish to fly?" The man sounded different; his tone was pretty cold. I went silent, felt nervous that this person would do something terrible to me. Until that person pushed me behind; along with the books, I wheeled down the stairs. And in my last fall, I felt something break in my body.

No! I shook my head to stop my mind from replaying what had happened earlier. I glanced up at his face. Don't be scared; think about mama. It would be best if you could overcome your fear. I carefully bent my head towards him and smiled at him.

He instantly shifted his attention away from me.

That's a good thing, Gemma. He evaded, showing that he was calm. I was going to return to my seat when I got bumped. "Emmet! You again. Why do you keep running into me? You're doing this on purpose."

"What difference does it make whether I'm doing it on purpose?"

"You're starting to irritate me, Emmet."

He simply grinned cynically and messed up my hair before returning to his seat. Emmet's behavior gave me shivers; he's acting strangely. I'm not used to him being so kind. "What's the deal with him?" I said to myself.