Save ourselves- One Direction

Roxanne

"Can I get dressed again?" asked Zayn almost nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I'm done," I said, lowering my phone.

"How are you feeling?", I asked as he put his shirt back on.

"I'm fine," Zayn mumbled.

"I'll talk to Ed today. He'll tell me when you guys can leave. Also, I'll ask him if he can get me something else that might help us."

"Like what?" asked Zayn wearily.

"It's a' surprise," I grinned.

"Is it a poison that Hempton gets in his morning coffee by complete accident and dies a slow, painful death as a result?"

"I think if I ordered one of those, my juvenile sentence would turn into several years in prison," I countered.

"I'd bet you could manage to hack MI6 without being discovered."

I chuckled.

"Yeah, maybe in four or five months when I have access to a PC again."

"I think you'll get a date with Niall quicker then," Zayn said as he washed his face at the boys' toilet sink.

Confused, I turned to him.

"What does Niall have to do with this now?"

"Roxy, I'm not stupid. I've known Niall for a few years now and I love the guy like it's my own brother. He does tend to annoy us all a lot with his optimism, but I think if we hadn't had him with us last year we'd all have been completely depressed or broken. He's our sunshine and when he's angry or sad, it's because something is going very wrong. So, whether you love him or not, it really doesn't matter, but...please don't hurt him."

I hesitated for a whole moment. I did like Niall, but I wasn't sure I had the same feelings for him that he had for me. By now I had figured out that he had a crush on me. But I had never really been in a...romantic relationship.

That was mostly because I didn't really let people get close to me. Besides, after everything that had happened with Hempton, I didn't really feel ready to get involved with anyone. I couldn't deny that I felt good around Niall. He managed to make me stop being disgusted by touch and gave me a strange sense of safety. But did that count as love?

"I don't want to hurt him," I replied therefore.

"Then talk to him. I know it's not your strong suit, but if you keep him at a distance like that, you'll hurt him."

"I don't know what to say to him."

"Tell him what's on your mind right now. Niall will understand."

"I'm not good at this."

"Who is? Except Daisy or Avery or Harry..."

"I'll get it," I interrupted him.

"Just be yourself. Because that's the only thing he'll believe from you," he advised.

"If I am, myself, that's probably going to be the main problem. I scare people away with my words. Often I don't even mean it in a bad way, but... I'm just honest," I explained to him.

"You're not supposed to lie to him. You're just supposed to think about how you tell him the truth. It can really make a difference."

"And how do I know what the right words are?"

"That's the exciting part. You'll have to figure that out for yourself."

With that, he grinned and left the washroom. I sighed. Niall deserved an explanation, I knew that. He had been there for me in my darkest hour, when everyone else had been angry at me for driving them away again. He had kept my secret, taught me how to swim, and shown me that it was okay to reach out for help and trust others. He trusted me. Niall...