Nomfundo
After our kiss he just held me in his arms. I was enjoying this i guess it was now official i am Menzi's woman. I loved the sound of that i was still smiling to myself when the door bell rang. Talk about bad timing i moved away from Menzi. He kissed my forehead and stood up.
Menzi: let me go see who that is but im guessing its the hypnotherapist.
Me: finally we will get one step closer to finding the truth. He went out after a short time he came back followed by short old white man, he was carrying a briefcase.
Menzi: bbe this is Dr Nelson the hypnotherapist.
Me: pleasure to meet you Dr Nelson.
Dr Nelson: its a pleasure to meet you too i have already been told a brief history about you so let me start by asking do you know what hypnosis is?
Me: i think i know but i could be wrong in my knowledge.
Dr Nelson: no problem I'll explain what it is so that you understand what i do. I nodded.
Dr Nelson: so hypnosis is a state of human consciousness involving focused attention and reduced peripheral awareness and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion. Are you still with me?
Me: yes Dr please continue.
Dr Nelson: so basicaly during hypnosis the person can concentrate intensely on a specific thought or memory while blocking out sources of distraction.
Menzi: so she will be in some sort of trance is that what you mean?
Dr Nelson: more or less yes however she will be able to respond to my commands or suggestions. Are you going to be sitting with us through this? He looked at Menzi, Menzi looked at me for approval.
Me: Dr i would like for him to be with me through this. He held my hand and squeezed it.
Dr Nelson: very well then lets get started Mr Ngema he looked at Menzi please close the curtains and windows i will need utter and complete silence free from any distrations. All phones off.
Menzi did as he was told. " Ms Zungu, please lay on your back for me and try to relax" I also did as told with Menzi's help.
Me: thank you Mr Ngema. I smiled it was a first time i heard his surname. He smiled too and took a chair to come sit beside me.
Dr Nelson: right Ms Zungu i need you to look at this" he held out a timepiece dangled it side to side. " Concerntrate on the movement allow your eyes to follow each movement, i need you to clear your mind of everything the only thing on is this object." " You are getting very sleepy your eyes are feeling heavy but you are so focused on this object at the snap of my fingers you will fall into a deep sleep. 123 sleep! He snapped his fingers and i went into this sleep like trance but i could still hear his every word.
Dr Nelson: can you hear me.
Me: yes i can
Dr Nelson: tell me what do you see?
Me: i see a house a beautiful house with a big garden. Theres a little girl coming home from school. She's smiling as she walks in.
Dr Nelson: what is the little girl smiling at.
Me: shes seeing a woman, she's calling her mama and then they hug, they look so happy the woman is bringing a cake to where the girl is seated.
Dr Nelson: carry on
Me: she brings the cake puts it infront of the girl and kisses her forehead. It says happy birthday Nomzamo, oh my gosh the girl is me?! The woman is my mom.
I was in a trance but that didnt stop my tears from falling.
Dr Nelson: what else do you see?
Me: i see a man coming through the door. He comes over and lifts me and spins me around and goes over to kiss my mom. They then sing happy birthday. This man is my father. Then the image disappeared.
Dr Nelson: do you see anything else?
Me: nothing its black
Dr Nelson: Ms Zungu i need you to concentrate focus on your memory.
Me: i see me and my mom playing outside in our garden my dad comes over to us and kisses us both and leaves. My mom is kissing me holding me we are having so much fun...
Dr Nelson: whats the matter you were smiling now you are looking upset.
Me: Theres a car in the front of our yard they want to get in. My mom asks them who they want, the men dont answer they look so mean. She grabs my hand and we run into the house. We heard loud noises yes gun shot noises. She grabbed me and we ran out the back door into the street behind our house my mom was pulling me so hard telling me to run faster, i couldn't i was so tired i dont even know where we were running to. She told me faster i could barely breath she just lifted me in her arms and ran with me. Those mean men can see us and are pointing their guns us. " bazosbulala ma! " i tell my mom, the a loud noise sent me and my mom falling to the ground my mom literally threw me a nearby open drain. Its black. I was now crying uncontrollably.
Dr Nelson: listen to the sound of my voice let it relax you, calm yourself take a deep breath in...then out. What else do you see?
Me: im being swept away by the drain water it smells so bad im trying to relax my body and keep my head above like my swimming instructor used to teach me.
Dr Nelson: carry on.
Me: im at a dumpsite thats where the drain water led me to. Im just laying on the ground trying to catch my breath the smell is chocking me im crawling to somewhere dry. Theres people building a fire out of waste. One of them comes to me and carries me to the others seated around the fire. Its black.
Dr Nelson: relax i know you feel pain but relax what did these people do to you?
Me: one of them was undressing me telling me i stink, but... He was touching me in a bad way im so scared and confused at wat his doing. He tells me that once im undress i must sit on top of him and he'll share his blanket. His hands feel so rough against me as hes forcing the rest of my clothes off.
Dr Nelson: Ms Zungu calm yourself dont worry with me you are safe now tell me more.
Me: he's puts his hand inside my panties and starts fondling me before i could say anything i heard something loud hit him and he passed out i think. A dirty looking woman had just hit him with a big plank behind his head. This woman saved me. I smiled.
Dr Nelson: so now its relief you feel?
Me: yes
Dr Nelson: tell me more...
Me: she took her dirty jersey and wrapped me with it and took my hand she asked for my name i just didnt answer i couldn't say anything. We went to a old run down house. It looks abandoned she tells me to sit at the corner and wait for her. I do as told the woman comes with some torn clothes but at least the were clean and they fit me. I get dressed in them but im barefoot i lost my shoes from all the running. She takes my hand and we go to what looks like a taxi rank im just following the woman around we walk around asking for small change she tells people she wants to buy bread for me but she never did. I was so hungry i could barely see straight. She took me to a train station we still continued begging then we went to where there were buses, by now i was barely able to walk i was too hungry. She kept pulling me in all directions to ask for money she told me to wait for her while she goes to the toilet i must continue begging. I couldn't i was drained and super hungry. I needed to sleep it was night now. I decided to go sleep in a parked bus it looked empty and it was opened. So i just got in unnoticed. Went to the back seat and slept. Its black.
Dr Nelson: Ms Zungu do you remember how your father looks like?
Me: yes i will never forget his face he always called me Nomzamo wam. I smiled at the memory of my dad.
Dr Nelson: is there anything else you remember from the time you were in the bus?
Me: i just found myself in a bright place so noisy i slipped out of the bus unnoticed but as soon as i got inside that place. I know now that it was park station. The security aaked me what im doing there i just ran out as far as my little feet could carry i dont even know where i was running to i saw a bus terminal the gate wasnt closed so i got in and slept under one of the nearby benches. Its black.
Dr Nelson: Ms Zungu do you remember your childhood?
Me: yes, yes i do. I smiled." i remember everything.
Dr Nelson: okay on the count of three when i snap my fingers you will awaken, feeling lively energetic and refreshed you will remember everything the good and the bad 123 he snapped his fingers. I woke up. I opened my eyes stared at the ceiling the memories came flooding back i remembered everything i just wept after all these years not knowing where i belong and suffering i finally know who i am. Menzi came and sat on the bed he raised me up to hold me in his arms, i held on for dear life just letting it all out i was happy i was sad i was scared, i was a ball of emotions.
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