Destiny ✓ᵗᵏ

Chapter 29✓

   ~Let it hurt, until it can't hurt anymore~

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      "Love, it's okay. I'm with you." Taehyung whispers, and the younger one just keep looking at the tombstone.

       Yeah, they buried his mother today. And Jungkook really has no idea how he was able to be conscious, seeing that he hadn't eaten for two days, and he didn't close his eyes,  even for a moment. Those two days after Jin disconnected his mother from the devices were like hell. Worse than that. He had to wait two days to be able to bury his mother, and in this time he tried to take his thought from the pain. He went to university, he was with Yoonhyo and Taehyung, he helped Hoseok. But in vain.

     He couldn't help but think that his mother had gone so far so he will not be able to see her very soon — unless he decides to give up his own life, but he promised to his mother. He promised that he would not give up no matter how hard it seemed, no matter how painful. 

      "Can I... Can I please be alone awhile?" the younger one asks after, and the other one looks at him intently, eyes full with worry and compassion for his lover.
 
     "Sure angel. I will wait for you in the car, ok?" Taehyung asks, and the bunny boy just nods.

      Taehyung was there with him, for him, all this time. From the moment when Jim told them that everything is finished, that his mother is dead, Taehyung was there. He was there both day and night — he managed to persuade the younger one to move into his house for a while. Jungkook did not want to accept at first, but he did in the end, being too tired to revolt. He tried to make sure he ate, but he couldn't. Jungkook simply did not feel he could eat. He tried to stay with him until he fell asleep, but Jungkook was just pretending to be asleep so that Taehyung could leave and sleep as well. But even though he didn't manage to help him much, he was there, and that warmed Jungkook a little. Even if his soul is more than frozen.

      "Hi mom." Jungkook's voice canes out as a whisper, then he looks at the ground, kneeling in front of the stone.

     The older one looks at him from the distance. His heart aches when he knows how much Jungkook is suffering right now. Even though he tried to be there for the bunny boy, he feels he can't help him. And not because he doesn't want that, on the contrary, he wants more than anything to help him. But he can't do it if Jungkook doesn't let him.

     "I always... hoped this day  will come as late as it can be." Jungkook says after, then takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I really tried to take care of you, but I didn't seem l was able to.  I tried to escape you from all the pain, but I- I'm too weak for this. I'm not strong, I can't help anybody." he starts to cry, then he looks at the tombstone again.

     This is way too hard. Is way too painful. He must to takes goodbye from his mother, exactly how he did when he was younger, when he said 'bye' to his father. And this thing makes him wonder if everything is okay with him, if he really is not a jinx. And what is his conclusion?

    He is a cursed. He is the reason of his parent's death. Maybe if he was not born, their will still be alive. Maybe somehow they wouldn't be sick, they wouldn't have to suffer. Yes, maybe it's a childish, stupid thought, but that's how it feels right now. Why? Why did not he die? 

     It is said that everything happens for a reason. That anything bad that happens to us, is actually a test by which we can become stronger. That any pain will heal in time, but it is not true at all. The pains will remain forever imprinted in the soul, they will always be scratched by the walls of the mind. He did not forget the day his father died. And he will most certainly not forget today as well, this damn day. The tears dry on our faces, but the memories remain forever. We can never forget even for a moment, we just pretend.