Love in Limbo

Chapter Two

The old house is too quiet without my Grams. There is too much creaking, too much ticking from her clocks, and too much of everything but the comfort of her presence. I miss her being home, and its only been one night. How would I ever live without her on this planet? When I can't live with her just down the street?. I have always been too attached to things that aren't permanent, things that disappear, leave, fade away, or just plain abandon me, like my mother. It won't be my Grams fault when the time comes and she takes her place in the afterlife, leaving me behind, but it doesn't mean it won't hurt. In a world of disappointment she has been my breath of fresh air, my guide, my one true north, the only person I could depend on that would never abandon me. How fair was it then, that she was then struck with an illness that was determined to take her.

I take a shower and get ready for work at the coffee shop. It seemed a natural job for me, a barista, when I consume inhuman amounts of the black stuff. The staff discount was incredible too. Milford was a small town in Pennsylvania, not far from Pittsburgh, but far enough out we felt rural. My Gram had lived here all of her life, and she had raised my father here. I had visited Milford every summer since I was a baby, sometimes staying for months so that my Mom could work or socialize in peace with her friends, without having to worry about me. When my mom fucked off to California with a new husband, I had found myself on the first greyhound heading back to the safety of my Grams. She had a room ready for me on arrival. It had only been six months or so, but I felt settled and happy. I hadn't made many friends yet as most people my age from the area had just left for college when I had arrived. I thought about attending a local college, and would most probably apply again next year, depending how Grams was, she was my priority.

I arrive at the coffee shop on my bicycle, having forgotten to put gas in my car after leaving Grams facility the night before. I lock it up at the back of the shop before going inside. I pull on my green apron and remove my shoulder bag, placing it in a locker in the staff room before pushing the door open into the kitchen. "Morning family" I sing, as I place myself between the fellow green apron donned bodies who are dishing out the early morning coffees like bullets being fired from a gun, quick and direct.

"Hey Sarah" squeaks Rebecca. She is shy and quiet but absolutely fabulous at her job, I like her a lot.

"Hey Cooper" shouts Ben, above the noise of the blender.

"Hey Benny" I call back.

"Sarah how's your Gram" Rebecca asks, while placing lids on a coffee order.

"She's doing okay. I wish I could have got up there this morning. I'm dying to find out how her first night went"

"Go call her... we can handle this shit show for five minutes" Ben shouts. Ben is permanently deaf from his day on the blender, and nobody can ever tell him he's shouting because he literally doesn't hear it or believe it.

I fumble with the phone in my apron. "You sure" I ask.

"Go" demands Ben.

"Don't have to tell me twice" I say, skipping out the back door.

The phone dials and I await her answer. It rings out for a few moments before I hear a commotion and realize she's dropped it and can't pick it back up "ahh shit" I hear her curse.

A nurse enters her room, and she demands they "pick it up please"

I hold my breath. "Sarah is that you" she finally answers.

"Yes it's me Gram, how was your first night" I ask. "I missed you"

"I miss you too honey" she replies, whilst catching her breath from all the effort it took to get her phone.