Love in Limbo

Chapter Twenty Five

"I'm not letting you off the hook on that one" Blair repeated again, going back to the moment in the coffee shop "Cassidy Colonel you cannot hide it anymore" She remarked, as she pushed me over the threshold into the pool house. "You and Sarah are most definitely, undoubtedly...unquestionably"

"Unquestionably what" Chase questions with a serious expression, as he stands from the arm chair beside the window.

Blair tries to swallow her words before they spill anymore. She gulps dramatically behind me. "Going to be the very best of friends" she says confidently and quickly.

She rounds the chair as I begin to stand and takes my arm. She looks to me apologetically.

Chase moves over the room and takes my other arm. I got her Blair" he suggests strongly.

Blair's hand falls away, and she sends him a look of absolute distain. "Of course" she says through gritted teeth.

"You can leave us to it" he says with a fake smile.

Blair watches him as he takes me to the couch and helps me to sit, she nervously wrings her fingers before darting forward "Do you need me to stay" she offers.

I think about that for a moment. I am not frightened of Chase, but I am worried about his reaction when I finally let him know I don't want to be with him. It would be safer to do it alone. I knew an audience would anger him more and taunt his narcissistic personality into negative actions. All I really wanted was for him to leave as quickly and as quietly as possible.

"I'm okay" I reply, offering her a smile that suggests she can indeed leave. "I'll see you in a minute...don't forget to bring a selection of outfits down Blair. I know what you are like, and I'm not wearing that skirt...not in this wheelchair"

Chase listens intently "What are you getting dressed up for" he asks.

I hesitate, realising my mistake.

"I'm throwing Sarah a little party at hers...she got into college" Blair offers without even realising her error.

I throw her a look that can't deny my frustration, and she reads me instantly. "It's just for us girls" Blair says, trying to fix her mistake.

"Is Cam going" he asks her.

Blair looks sheepish. "Um...I think so" she offers reluctantly. "But obviously he's with me so of course he is"

"And I'm with Cass, so of course I will be too" he retaliates.

"Of course" Blair returns, unable to hide her disappointment. "I will be back" Blair says, looking at me again for reassurance.

I grant it with a smile. "A minute" I implore, widening my eyes at her so that she knew not to leave it too long.

Blair shuts the door behind her. Chase sits down beside me, he pulls my legs over his lap and leans in to kiss me. I move my face away from him, and he pushes my legs off of him in frustration.

"Why won't you kiss me" he shouts, his face reddening.

I flinch at the spite in which he says it, and I adjust myself into a better sitting position so that I don't feel as small as he sits above me.

"Cass, what is going on" he asks "don't you love me anymore"

He watches my side profile as I stare at the carpet beneath us. I cant look at him. He reaches across and pulls my chin into his hands roughly. "Look at me for god's sake" he spits. I feel tears fill my eyes. "Why the fuck are you crying" he says, becoming agitated. I knew the tears would make him worse, its the imperfection of me. How dare I cry, appearing human to him for a moment, and how fucking dare I have an opinion of him that is not perfect. Chase could never believe he wasn't a god...and he couldn't bear that he wasn't one to me.