Love in Limbo

Chapter Twenty Nine

The early morning dash for coffee had become mine and Maddie's new routine. We would wake up with moments to spare before we had to leave the house and dash around in a blind panic. We would retrieve our uniforms, our sun hats, our whistles and our lunch for the day. One of us, whomever reached the car first would start it like we were headed off with a pregnant lady to the hospital who was 10cm dilated. The other, would just about close the door before the car shot off of the drive and headed to the coffee shop on auto pilot.

We always collected three free coffees (all with my worker benefits), and Rebecca's 'what I don't see I don't know' attitude, and we would go pick up Blair. She was mostly always waiting for us at the curb in front of her house, rolling her eyes at the state of us and tapping her watch.  Blair was always perfectly put together in her uniform, the rose between two thorns you may say, watching us three enter the gates each morning.

"It's been six weeks and you guys still get here two minutes late" she states, getting into the back of the car and pulling the door shut.

We wave at Mr Colonel who is at the window waving goodbye, and head off to the summer camp.

Summer camp was a slight surprise, and not in my original plans for the summer at all, but Blair had propositioned Maddie and I one lunchtime with a flyer she had got from the high school. They were looking for help this summer and had six spots to fill to help with the kids. It was good pay and looked good for college. Blair hadn't lined up a summer job as she had assumed she would be helping Cassidy at home, but as it turned out, Cassie wouldn't even be in the state for the summer let alone the house, and Blair needed the distraction and the money.

Maddie was thrilled at the prospect of working with us all for the summer, and she also needed the extra cash for college in the fall. I think we all appreciated the social aspect of hanging within our new group of friends all day too.

I on the other hand, I had needed coaxing a little more to take on the role. I did need the money, but I didn't need the PTSD I felt the camp might bring back up. Thankfully Blair and I had done a walk through before we started, and when the waves of nausea and anxiety didn't hit...I signed up too. I was now working part time at the coffee shop and part time at the summer camp, which left me slightly crazy by nights end, but Maddie had made Grams house a home and it was nice to come back to the lights on and some food in the oven. The busy schedule also afforded me little time to think about Cassie, and that had been a blessing, because the thoughts hurt...a lot.

"How's your sister and your mom doing in Arizona" Maddie asks, as we drive the twenty minutes out of town to the camp.

Blair was typing into her phone "good" she returned. She looked up from her phone and out of the window as if considering her answer "Mom has enjoyed the sun. It was literally a vacation for her, and Cassie" she says her name quieter, like if I hear it I may fall apart "she's actually done better than expected... much much better. She's looking and feeling fantastic"

"That's great" Maddie says with a smile, returning her eyes to the road as she drives on.

Was that great?! I mean it was great that she was feeling fantastic and doing well but I didn't know what her return would bring. Would we even see each other?! Would she even care, and at this point, would I?!

Had I numbed her so much that I wouldn't feel her anymore. It was like I had held an ice cube to my flesh until it hurt, until it became unbearable, but then the reward, a loss of sensation, no pain, a release. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Up was down and down was up.

"I wish I could have chaperoned her to therapy. I need a vacation from life" Blair says, dropping her phone on the empty seat beside her dramatically and sighing.