Love in Limbo

Chapter Twenty Six

By the time I had gotten home from work, Grams house had become a Blair bonanza, there were balloons on the door, banners, and drinks on ice in a large container in the kitchen. I had to give it to her, that girl committed 110% to her ideas, the congratulations hats, the photo booth, the rainbow on everything, the way she had put every valuable away somewhere I feared I wouldn't ever discover, even when it was all over.  She had made it nice. I smiled as I took in every last small detail, including a table of merch from my college to be.

Blair had turned out to be one of the nicest surprises I had had when I returned to Milford, her and Cassie. They had made it sufferable, and even Maddie wasn't a person I avoided anymore. It was feeling like Milford was perhaps somewhere I could call home after all, even once Grams had long left it. Home though, I wanted it to be both a person and a place. I think even when I was born into this world my soul wasn't affixed to a place and certainly not the person who birthed me. My parents had never been people for a child to cling too, to rely upon, and there had been no Mother or Father's bond, no intuition, and no invisible tie that kept us together. The places we lived were never for long, never for a period that would make a place a home, no, home until recently had been myself, and been my Grams. Home was my own heartbeat at night, the only sound that continued on after all other noise, and all other senses, were lost. The beat of my heart against my ribs, the thump in my veins, the rhythmic sound as my ear pressed to my pillow. I was until recently the only home I had ever known, and in all honesty it was getting lonely.

The night Cassie and I had made love, I felt it for the first time in my life, a deep and unrelenting feeling of peace, of bliss, a euphoria that I wouldn't ever be able to match. Cassie was home, something she expressed herself before I had even registered it. Even when she had forgotten me, she would always be the place I came back to each night, the person I felt at peace and longed to be with. Yes Cassie would always be the place I laid myself down to sleep, with relief, at the end of a long day. She was the last sound I heard at night, as my breast, my chest, and my heart beat wildly against her. Home.

***
"Are you in the shower" Blair called into the bathroom.

I pulled a towel around my wet torso and stepped out of the shower, turning the faucet to a stop. The steam that filled the room whooshed out as Blair appeared behind it like a star about to step onto a stage. She looked beautiful in a tight black, sparkly dress and more like she was about to attend a club. She looked me up and down slowly whilst waving her arms and trying to deter the steam.

"You're not even dressed" she observed.

"It's not seven yet" I reply, grabbing my hairbrush and moving into the hallway to my bedroom opposite.

"It's six thirty Sarah, people always arrive early"

She walks behind me and watches me brush out my dark hair in the mirror beside my bed.
She sinks down onto the side of it and looks around "so this is your sanctuary huh" she asks, looking around with a funky look on her face.

"Say it" I ask, watching her reflection.

"Say what" she asks, returning her eyes to me.

"You don't like my decor" I prompt.

She feigns innocence briefly, before coming to the truth "well it's not young girl on the town is it" she pauses briefly. I watch her, mouth agape, awaiting her assassination of my decor "I mean, it's like what I imagine my grandmothers room looked like when she was nineteen, you know, in the 18th century" she said, beginning to laugh at herself.

I mocked shock and horror, before joining her laughter and throwing the hairbrush at her.

"Ouch" she squeaked, as it barely grazed her arm.