Love in Limbo

Chapter Fourteen

"Cassie" I gulp deeply, as I watch her on tip toes trying to find a key that she swears is here somewhere.

"I know it's up here" she says, pushing her tongue under her teeth and biting down in frustration as she searches blindly, her face turning red with the exertion. "Got it" she finally calls, releasing her hands from above the door and clutching it whilst jumping on the spot excitedly.

She unlocks the door and lets me in behind her, before turning on the lights. The lights flicker on revealing a large pool that fills a ginormous atrium. I look around nervously, and find my eyes drawn back to the water, something that terrified me.

Cassie didn't read my energy. She was hurriedly removing her clothes behind me. I stumbled backwards as she ran forward and dived elegantly into the pool, her naked silhouette passing my eye line and disappearing under the water. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest with anxiety as she glides under the water for a few moments before coming up for breath at the opposite end of the pool.

"Isn't it amazing" Cassie says, swimming back leisurely. "It's so warm...Come in" she asks, gesturing for me to join her.

I am still trying to find my breath as I walk around the pool, slowly, before taking the seat beside the stairs that lead into the water. I don't want to disappoint her, and so I begin to take off my shoes and socks, placing them next to me. I hesitate, and she appears beside me in the water, placing her arms on the side of the pool and resting her chin on them.

" What's wrong" she asks finally, sensing my unease. "Can't you swim" she asks. She reaches up and touches my leg as the water runs from her fingers down onto my skin.

"I can" I reply "I just haven't since that night" I add, finding her eyes which are fixed on me.

"What night" she asks with a frown.

"The night you drowned" I finally reply, quietly.

Cassie jumps out of the water. I avoid her bare skin and look away as she wraps a towel around her waist, and ties it under her collar bone. She sits beside me and wraps her arm around me. Her wet blonde hair rests against my cheek as she tightens her embrace.

"Sarah I'm so sorry" she says, with a furrowed brow and eyes that are full of worry and regret. "I didn't think...I heard what my dad said the other night and I forgot to have the conversation with you...everything is all over the place here, in limbo. I can hear the most important information but then it floats away from me like my brain is a mess of tangled roads that all lead into different directions, taking thoughts with them to places almost unreachable. What happened" she asks squeezing my knee.

I take a breath, wondering how I can recount this story for her in the most appropriate way. I didn't want to traumatise her with something she had forgotten, and I also didn't want to go too deep into it myself.

"You asked me to go swim with you...it was the year we were ten" I confirm.

She nods "the year of my accident"

I nod back "yes" ... and the last year I would attend for four years" I admit.

Cassie adjusts herself next to me, giving me the space to talk, but resting her hand on mine reassuringly. "It was dark, we swam to the middle of the lake and looked at the stars...you made a joke about a galaxy far far away"

Cassie smiles whilst I'm recalling the more innocent details. "You wanted a race back to shore and took off fast" I say deep in thought.

"Sounds like me" Cassie observes.

"I lost sight of you" I tell her, feeling my heart begin to race at the memory. "You disappeared under the water" I add, beginning to feel panic rise in my chest.