Love in Limbo

Chapter Five

When I returned to my room that night after being whooped by ivy at Gin, I was shocked to find Blair sat holding my hand at my bedside. I slowly wound my way around the room, feeling like my heart had taken flight to my throat as I reached for her and held her from behind. I buried my face in her blonde locks, tears fell down my cheeks and into her hair. She smelt like coconut. I inhaled her being, and held my breath, like I was memorizing her scent for my eternity without her.

"Blair" I whispered "I miss you so much..."

I sat and looked to her face, her hazel eyes were red raw, and she had tears running down into her lips, causing her nose to run unapologetically down into her sweater.

Her fingers were entwined in mine as she held me to her, kissing my knuckles as she pressed them to her lips. Her eyes squeezed shut regularly, while waves of emotion flooded her. "Cass" she whispered.

"Yes" I returned, forgetting she could not hear me.

"I need you to wake up now" She begged. "I need you" she said through tears.

She began to smile as a thought came to mind "I need you to teach me that damn cheer routine you made up for the senior night game...remember that night, the night of the accident. You started the routine in the kitchen, and mom threw a fit because you knocked a bowl of potatoes off of the kitchen island with a high kick" she laughed, and she wiped at her tears. "I literally cannot with Mom. I need you back to double tag with, you always knew what to say to her to calm her down, to get out of chores, and escape out with our friends. She loved you cass, she still loves you" she corrected.

"I always knew you were her favourite, but damn, she literally doesn't exist without you, none of us do. Cassidy, you are the glue that holds us all together, you are the ying to my yang, and the positive in the shit show that is our family. Not to be cringe, but you are literally are the light that's missing from our lives. I need to have you home, stealing the hot water, and my clothes. I have so much to share with you."

I gently stroked her hair as she spoke. I couldn't help the smile that her presence evoked. Blair was the closest person to me in my life, to have her here, close, it made me feel alive.

"Do you remember Francis from camp" She whispered with a smile.

I moved off of the arm of her chair, and looked down at her, shocked at the name leaving her lips. "I bumped into her this morning" she revealed.

I felt my knees buckle a little. She must know.

"Her name is Sarah now" she adds "I couldn't believe she was back in town. God she's beautiful" she declared.

I did a double take at Blair, and frowned, at the affection she had said it with. "She's beautiful" I whispered "inside and out" I agreed.

"I don't think I ever told you, but Francis, I mean Sarah, she was my first kiss" Blair confessed.

I jumped backwards, in what was probably a comedic thing to witness "You kissed her" I declared loudly, my mouth agape in shock. "Blair"I accused, like I always did at the things she would confess to me in high school.

Blair was stroking my hand, and smiling a goofy smile. "She was an incredible kisser" she added.

I felt a sensation of jealousy, with butterflies that suddenly appeared, in that place between your stomach and your heart. I was taken aback by the feelings that suddenly took me by surprise. I didn't even think about Sarah like that, but as soon as Blair had confessed she had enjoyed the kiss...I felt jealous, that I didn't know how Sarah's lips felt, myself.