Love in Limbo

Chapter Sixteen

I watch out of the window as the town is dressed for Memorial Day weekend by the local high school volunteer group. It's lunch time on the Friday and I am hiding in the darkest corner of the coffee shop, on my lunch break. I have been staring out of the window blankly for ten minutes already, and my sandwich has not been touched. I have zero appetite, haven't since Wednesday, the day Cassidy Colonel returned to everyone else, but disappeared to me. I cannot finish a thought, or even speak, without losing my way. I can't even contemplate life beyond the hour I am currently in. I am lost and floating in the abyss, just waiting for the answers to come, on how I can fix this. How can I help Cassidy to find me again?! I know I must be there inside of her, somewhere.

"Hey Becca" comes the familiar sing song voice of Blair "Is Sarah in" she asks.

"She's on her lunch break" Rebecca replies, leaning herself over the counter and whispering in Blair's ear "be gentle with her...she's not been herself" and she points to the corner that I am occupying. I'm a lone figure, picking at a sandwich, but never once lifting a morsel of food to my lips.

"Hey" Blair greets quietly, slipping into the booth opposite me and resting her legs on the wooden beam between us. Her sneakers press to my own. I inhale deeply, and push the sandwich away with one finger, before briefly making eye contact with the eyes that are awaiting mine.

"Hi" I return, with a slight cough to clear my throat. "How is she" I ask, lifting the cold coffee to my lips and taking a sip whilst nursing the mug in both hands.

Blair looks at me with a concerned expression, and takes a moment to consider her answer. "She's awake, and she's alive" she states "but it's only been two days...she's got a long road ahead to recovery"

"Does she know about her friends" I ask, placing down the mug and finding myself desperately worried about Cassidy's emotional and mental pain.

Rebecca appears beside us and places a steaming mug of coffee down for Blair, before refilling mine. "Thanks" we both say.

Rebecca smiles and walks back to the counter.

"She does" Blair confirms. "It was awful...it was like we were all reliving that horror all over again with her. Just like that night. I didn't feel like we would ever survive the loss of them...but of course we did...slowly over time...and now Cassidy will begin that journey of grief as if it was yesterday, and we of course with her. I just wish we didn't have to tell her, to save her from the pain. She's broken as we all expected...they were so close...we all were"

"It's a bittersweet time for you all" I replied "I wish I could help" I add, watching Blair take a sip from her coffee.

"You can Sarah, just by being there. I missed you the last few days" she confesses, with half a smile.

"I know. I'm sorry I haven't replied to any messages" I shuffle slightly against the leather booth. "I just didn't know what to say or what I could do that would help. I thought it was best to give you all that time with her alone"

Blair places her hand on mine, and I look up to meet her hazel eyes. I have been avoiding them, for the guilt I feel for ghosting her. "Sarah just don't run away okay...I need you" she whispers. "I need your friendship. Jordan just left for Europe. I hate to admit it, but you are like the only friend I have left. Most definitely the only one that I can talk too and trust"

"Wow" I tease "you are scraping the barrel if I'm the best option left" I say, smiling and breaking the heavy mood.

Blair smiles and relaxes a little at the shoulders "there she is" she observes "I knew you were still in there somewhere...most probably still picking glitter and confetti from your hair" she says with a laugh.