Endlessly trying... (gonkillu)

Chapter 3

(Killuas pov)

One of the boys came in yelling "GUYS GUESS WHAT!" He yelled, running to us and jumping at the same time, waving a letter. "What?" We all said in unison. "We got invited to the girls sorority for another party GET HYPED!" He said "LETS GOO!" They all said and got excited. I was confused.

"Basically there are some of the hottest girls there," Ikalgo said to me I nodded "I see," all of the guys were excited and I didn't really care. I mean I don't have any interest in girls. No boobs or vag-well you know, but wait, Gon technically has boobs, that mans got some nice tits, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I LIKE HIM OR ANYTHING!

I went upstairs to take a shower, (there was one bathroom for every 2 dorms so 8 bathrooms (in use) upstairs, there were 4 downstairs. I went into ours and started to shower, there were two showers in each bathroom, two sinks, and one toilet. 'Man this place is nice,'

I took off my clothes and put them on the little bench outside of the shower, along with a towel for when I was done. Then I turned on the water and started to shower. "The house has to have an unlimited supply of hot water," I thought as I washed my hair and body feeling it started to relax after the long night.

I got out and dried off, I looked in the mirror at my scars, then started to put my clothes back on, I went back out and all the guys were hyping up the party, I wasn't planning on going but I guess if everyone else was I didn't really wanna be alone so I decided I would just go be not here a party pooper.

A few hours passed and it was time to start heading to the party. I drove with a couple of the other guys and when we arrived there were already a bunch of bright flashing lights.

We went in and people were drunk and high and dancing, the girls would grind on the guys and I would just stand there awkwardly, then I heard my name being called, I saw a few of the guys were sitting with some girls in a Circle. "Come play with us!" They yelled.

I walked over to them and sat down "what are we playing?" I asked "spin the bottle!!" They said I blushed "what?" I said "come on man let's play," I nodded "what are you guys doing?" A deep voice said.I looked up and saw Gon.

"We're about to play spin the bottle, wanna play?" Zushi asked, "I don't see why not. There are quite a couple Ute ladies here," He said with a wink and the girls basically fainted and sat down.

People took turns and I was so happy none landed on me. Making out with a girl in front of everyone, I didn't have the balls, "Aright Killua your turn!" Zushi said "umm I think I'm ok," I said "awe come on, you're so unfun." Zushi said, I don't really wan al the people to know I'm gay, guess I'll Abe to cover it up  "Fine! I'll play! Then I'll show you all up with how much better I am of a kisser then all of you!" I yelled, grabbing the bottle away.

I spinned the bottle and waited, just hoping I didn't get a girl, it stopped and I looked up. "Guess it's me!" Gon said winking again, I blushed "oh well if you're uncomfortable we don't hav- "I don't mind." He said cutting me off and walking over to me.

All of the girls looked jealous, I bet every one of them was trying to get a kiss with him. He sat down next to me, I looked at him.

'He's too cute' I thought as he pulled me into his lap holding me by my hips. He caressed my face gently and put his forehead against mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck and gently pressed my lips against his.

It felt so warm and soft. We pulled away and everyone was looking at us, I got embarrassed. I stood up, "I think I'm done playing for now," I walked away and went to the bathroom.

I squealed like a little fangirl, 'I kissed him, that was so cool!! He was so gentle, AND HE HELD MY HIPS that was kinda hot,' I thought before I heard a knock on the door, then it opened, "ahh" I said but I realized it was just Gon.

He came over to me. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, that was never my priority," he said walking into the bathroom and closing the door, "it's ok, I actually really liked it," I said looking away embarrassed. Gon lifted my chin with thumb and pointer finger. "I liked it too," he said, his eyes piercing through mine.

"Can we do it again?" He asked, looking at me, I looked away embarrassed again but nodded. He gently pushed me against the wall, he looked at me and how I was avoid eye contact, "look at me, keep your eyes on me," I nodded.

He put one of his hands on my waist and the other on my chin pulling it up. He pressed his lips to mine, I kissed back and felt his hand moving a little up to my chest more, he then moved his hand to my back and held me closer.

I felt him open his mouth and ask for entrance. I nearly squealed again, he was kissing me and was taking it a further. I let him, he's tongue gently caressing mine, he explored a little and moved both his hands to my hips and pulled me even closer, then he pulled away.

"You ok?" I nodded. "That was really nice," I said embarrassed. "Yeah, it was. I really liked it. Your lips are so soft. It just feels right." He said I looked away, "don't look away, let me see those beautiful eyes." I blushed. "I'm sorry, maybe I should go, I don't know why I did that." He said I was shocked.

I grabbed his hand "but what about what just happened? What do we do?" I asked, "I don't know, I guess we just had a moment or something. I think I'm too old for you," He said my heart crushed and I nodded "yea, that's ok." I said trying to hold back a couple tears 'don't cry, come on suck it up, don't cry' I thought

"Ok then, I'm gonna go get something to drink. I'll see you back at the frat." He said I nodded and left, then I left. I went to the drinks and grabbed one looking at it for a good 10 minutes before I decided not to drink it just in case, I'm too scared.

I walked over to Zushi and sat by him. "Bro what happened?" He said "what do you mean?" He rolled his eyes "with Gon?" I looked away, "we just made out a little," I said he looked at me. "Your gay?" I nodded. "Damn that was kinda hot too, so what are you guys dating or something?"

I shook my head, "he said we just had a moment, and that I wa to young for him.." I said he sighed and looked at me. "But what do you feel about that?" He said "I don't know, I mean it was kinda a jerk move, I thought for a second he liked me," I said.

"Yeah man, I get that." He said pulling me in his arms, I hugged him back then pulled away. "So you wanna go smoke some weed or something? Maybe it'll help you calm down?" He said.

I thought for a second "I've never smoked weed before," he grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's go you need to wind down." I nodded, we got outside, the warm air of the summer was refreshing yet still nipped at my skin, Zushi got out the roll of weed and put it between his lips.

He lit it and showed me, "so you are just going to suck in a deep breath kinda through the stick, you'll probably fail the first couple of times, once it's in your lungs and you can feel yourself start to relax just blow it out. I nodded, grabbing the weed from him.

I put it between my lips and took a big hit. "Woah dude chill out, that's a lot!" He said I nodded as I started to cough, "ok try again," I nodded. I did it a few times until I got the hang of it, it started to feel better.

"How's that?" He asked "it's good," I said "thanks Zushi," he looked at me "No problem, and if you ever need anything from me I'm always here man, even if you're embarrassed to talk about it you can talk to me, I'm always a safe place," I nodded "thanks that means a lot, I guess it's kinda true that frat houses are like a brother hood, you seem like a really strong good person." I said "thanks, that means a lot." He said.

We continued to talk about random things throughout the rest of the night and get to know each other better.