Endlessly trying... (gonkillu)

Chapter 5

(sorry for the short chapter I'm having a doctors test that has a long recovery to get ready for my brain surgery)

(Killuas pov)

Me, Zushi, Ikalgo, Leorio and Kurapika are all going out to the town tonight, I'm hoping to get my head out of things. We were going to go chill at a bar and just relax with each other.

We went to a bar and we're finally able to relax. It was a really nice bar, kinda a red and gold velvet type style, it looked really fancy and nice.

I could get drinks without the fear of them being spiked again! I drank quite a bit, since I had not had the guts to drink at a party. When we finished and went to leave I was drunk, I couldn't walk to well and ended up having to leaned against leoiro, he picked me up and carried me, to the car.

We got back to the car and he sat me down, Zushi started to drive and I had my head on ikalgos lap. He was playing with my hair.it felt nice,'man I think that almost all of the boys here are gay, they all do gay stuff, and have gay tendencies.' I thought as he played with my hair

I don't remember much from the car or even that night, I did remember getting home and one of them carrying me to bed, probably Leoiro, then I went to sleep and felt a lot better.

I woke up the next morning with a headache but I felt really good. I felt better about yesterday and the whole thing with Gon. I know who my main friends in the frat house were ,and how they will always take care of me. Not that of them weren't my friends but they were my good friends compared to the others.

I got up and kurapika greeted me "good morning Killua, how do you feel? Does your head hurt." He asked sitting up "yeah it hurts a little but man I feel so much better than yesterday, I don't know I just feel so good." I said he nodded "that's really good, here take some of these,"

He said as he passed me a jar of headache medicine, I popped a few in my mouth and swallowed them with the water bottle that sat on the nightstand of my desk. I thanked him then got up and got ready for the day.

We both were hungry so we decided we should go to get breakfast. I went downstairs but kurapika stayed up probably changing or something.

I got to the kitchen and Gon was there making food for a few of the guys. I tried to ignore him but he was so pretty. "Morning Killua," a couple of the boys said. "Morning" I mumbled. "You know I don't feel so good still, I think anything I eat I might throw up, I don't think I'm gonna eat," I said as an excuse to go back up the stairs. I started to walk back up the stairs.

I made it about half way before I stopped to sit down on one of the steps, "it's hard to walk" I mumbled. After a little bit I got up again and started to walk. I got back to my room. "Hey, that was fast, did you even eat?" Kurapika asked.

"Yeah I just did it fast cause Gon was there." He nodded "I see, just make sure you eat to work off that handover," he said I nodded and flopped down on my bed, I felt kinda gross in a way that's like you don't feel clean, so I went to go take a shower.

I went to the bathroom and turned on the water, all the way hot. I sat down and let the water hit my back. It felt nice, it was so warm and steamy, I started to hurt but I didn't mind.

'How could I fall madly in love with someone I just met, what is wrong with me?' I thought I had finished washing my hair and turned off the water and tied a towel around my waist. I walked back to my room and got inside, Kurapika was gone, probably to get food or snuggle with leoiro.

I changed my clothes and laid back into bed, I was going to have a lazy day we're I just doing things that I like.

I went to the store to buy a bunch of snacks and random stuff, then I got home, I watched some movies on y Obie until I fell asleep eating nothing but a bunch of junk food.

I was bored, there was nothing to do, I wanna talk to him but he's being a jerk! Why did I have to fall in love with someone on the first couple days I'm here, how does that even happen?! I mean sure he was devilish handsome but that's not excuse.

I was mad at myself. I was so sad, it felt like I was going through a breakup but was not even broken up with, I felt so weird.

I decided to go out and get some fresh air, so I went out to the park near the campus. It was relaxing. It was warm and there were kids playing on the playground and birds singing.

I sat on a bench and looked at the sky, up at the clouds and sunset that was going on, I always loved the sunset but in my opinion sun rises are always so much more beautiful.

It was a petty thing to think I had a chance, maybe I should talk to Gon and at least make up from the fight even if it doesn't end with us being friends I just wanna say sorry.