Endlessly trying... (gonkillu)

Chapter 8

(Art:furixu_ on Instagram and Twitter)
(Killua POV)

I woke up, in Gon's arms. I quickly investigate the area and the situation I was in. I wasn't wearing a shirt and was wearing his pants. I jumped up. 'Did we sleep together?I have to be so much more safe! I can't, I'm so stupid!' I thought

as I poked his chest, he had such big pecs, I can't help but want to feel and cup them. he wasn't wearing a shirt either, I can't remember what happened last night. Did we seriously hook up, but I wasn't in the right mindset, it doesn't hurt down there but still.

I felt hands on my hips pulling me out of my thoughts. He pulled and tugged me closer to his body. "Morning pretty ," he said. I kinda smiled at the nickname he gave me. "Gon?" I asked sorry and gilt in my voice. "Yes?" He said sleepy, his cheek Squished into my back since he turned me around and was now spooning me.

"Did...did we sleep together last night?" I asked worriedly, "yeah,why? Couldn't you tell." he said I started to freak out, "really, I, I was so out of it, I can't believe I had sex well high!" I cried out nervous, my first time was already uncomfortable and non consensual, now the second time I was high and can't remember anything.

I started to cry. "Ohh why are you crying?" He said holding me tightly. "I wasn't ready, I guess it's like after the first time it happened I've been scared," he looked confused "ohhhh you meant sleep like sex? No we didn't, don't worry, I would never take advantage of you well you were drunk or high, I know that's wrong. We only slept." He said probably feeling like a idiot. "Sorry if I scared you," I nodded. "Come on, come cuddle over here."

I crawled over to him and laid on his chest. He rubbed my back gently in warm comfy circles and gave me forehead kisses, well playing with my hair.

We got up and out of bed a little later. When we went downstairs Everyone was having a big hangover. "Damn you guys good?" Gon said with a little laugh, They're all we're lying on the couch on top of each other looking tired and out of it. Zushi and Ikalgo were cuddling With a few other guys.

Me and Gon ate and made breakfast for the other guys who thanked us. I was kinda bored and wanted to do something, then it came to me.

"I'm gonna go shopping!" I told Gon he nodded. "Put a shirt on!" He yelled and I nodded. I could hear from the living room, "so did you finally get in his pants or anything?" I got nervous thinking about if he lied or anything when we first woke up. "Of course not! He was high and out of it, I'm not going to take advantage of him, you guys...I really hope you don't take advantage of drunk or high people, that's not okay." He said my heart warmed as I put on a shirt and left.

I was driving and listening to some of my favorite song, it was peaceful and I was excited to get stuff. I pulled up to the store and grabbed a cart.

I was gonna get some snacks and comfort things. I got to the store and grabbed some snacks like pockeys, some sparkling sodas, some munchies and chocolates. Just a whole lot of yummy comfort food.

Then I went to the makeup aisle because I ran out of eyeliner and blush. I saw this really cute nail polish that was a dark blue with sparkles in it!!

I went to the pharmacy and picked up a few different medications, one prescribed for my anxiety, and the others were pain pills for headaches. I switched the place where I picked up my medicine so it was closer when I first started to go to school here.

Then I went to the makeup aisle again! I grabbed some mascara and was looking at the package seeing what shape the lash curler was. It was pretty cool. a girl, well she was a little older, maybe thirty walked by me, "fag" she mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

I felt my lungs tighten for a second. I hesitantly put the items in my cart I walked around grabbing some other things. I looked at the different isles when I got to the aisle with skirts and dresses. 'Pretty!' I thought as I grabbed a few skirts and dresses in my cart. I went to try them on.

I put the ones that I wanted in my cart with a smile. I could tell people were whispering about me around me, but I tried to ignore it, yet still feeling completely insecure. I went to the Check out and went to the self checkout.

I bought everything and got back to my car, opening the trunk and putting the bags in. I started the engine, opened the windows and relaxed as I took the fresh air back into my lungs. It was such a nice beautiful sunny day. I felt so free and comfortable.

I got back to the house. Gon saw me carrying all ten of my bags on one trip and grabbed some from me helping me carry them to my room. "Hey so I was thinking, maybe I should switch your room with leorio's now that we're a couple." He said I looked at him. "Really?" I said my eyes were probably sparkling. "You wanna be with me every night?" I said with a smile.

"Well yeah I mean we'll have to get them to agree with it but I'm sure they won't mind since him and Kurapika are dating," he said "Ok yeah!" I said. I opened the door and set my stuff down on my bed. "What did you buy?" He asked I blushed. "Just some snacks and clothes." I said "can I seeeee?" He said I blushed and nodded at the same time with fear and a twinge of nervousness from rejection. I could just hear it, "you bought skirts, what are you five, only girls can wear skirts" I thought.

He opened the bags and looked at the dresses and skirts. I was scared he would yell or get mad. "You like to cross-dressing?" He asked I looked away, completely embarrassed and nervous. I nodded and felt a tear slip. He lifted my chin. "That's so adorable, you're so cute. Put one on! I wanna see!!" He said practically with hearts in his eyes. "Pleaseeee, I bet you look so pretty!" He said handing me an outfit."

I grabbed a skirt and shirt from him I thought and started to change. "DON'T LOOK PERV!" I yelled as Gon was staring at me. "Fineee," he said I quickly put the stuff on that he gave me and turned to look in the mirror, "ok you can open your eyes," I said.

He turned around and looked. "Woahhh, damn! You look good, so pretty and cute! I love it, come here for a second." I walked over to him and he put his hand on my hips, "wow!" He said rubbing my hips.(BTW it's the outfit in the picture)

"Turn around," he said I did and he grabbed my hips again, "dang look at all that ass," he said poking my ass "what are you doing you perv!" I said cringing and turned back around "sorry you have a really pretty body," he said I blushed "you can't just say stuff like that!" He dragged me towards the bed and pushed me down.

He was on top of me. The shirt I was wearing exposed my shoulders and collarbones perfectly. He leaned down and kissed me. I kissed back, he got a little greedy and quickly asked for entrance. I allowed it. As he was kissing me his hands made their way into my shirt, light brushing over my toned stomach.

I felt a shiver go down my spine. His fingers were cold but nice. He moved from lips down to my neck, quickly finding my sweet spot again, nibbling and sucking. I was letting out small gasps and hums. Holding onto his hair as I tug it lightly up signaling him to stop.

He pulls away and looks at me. I hoist his head up so I can kiss him a few more times. "You look so pretty. So sexy, So hot, so adorable." I smiled "thank you," I said, kissing his nose. "I wanna stay with you and cuddle. "That sounds nice to me" I replied.

He got happy and stayed on my chest, nuzzling his face into my collarbone bone, "sorry I left more hickeys on you," he said, kissing one of them. "It's ok, I kinda like them." He smiled, "that's good, cause I tend to leave a lot, I like people to know that you're mine," he said as I blushed. He pulled me and switched up our positions so that I was on top of him.

I could tell his hand wandered then grip my ass. "Gon!" I yelled trying to grab his hand off, "you have such a nice ass baby, can I just touch it," he asked with puppy dog eyes. "Fine!" I said as he rested his hands on it. "Thank you!" He said I nodded 'horny' I thought as I slowly felt tired and started to fall asleep.