Endlessly trying... (gonkillu)

Chapter 12

(Killuas pov)

He threw me on the bed and got on top of me, kissing me. I threaded my hands through his hair as he used tongue into the kiss. I let out a throaty moan as he stopped kissing for a second. As I looked at me in my eyes.

"Your beautiful, every inch of you is so god damn beautiful, I love you so much," I smiled and kissed his forehead "I love you too, and I trust you," I said. "Come on, let's get some food, then we can go in the hot spring or get massages, whatever you want, by the way we have our own private hot spring."

I smiled, we ordered sushi and a spicy beef and noodle hot pot. And we'll wait for our food we cuddled and kissed and made out, but that's not the point. Then we heard a knock on the door, I got off of him and he answered the door. "Thank you," he said as he came back and set the food in-front of me.

"Let's eat!" I grabbed my chopsticks and started to eat, it was so good. Me and Gon ate and then we talked about what we wanted to do first. I thought it would be a good idea if we went to the hot springs cause we could do that multiple times if we wanted.

"Ok, so just take off all your clothes and put on this robe," he said as I blushed, "ok," I said as I started to undress, "your beautiful by the way, I love your scars, please don't hide them," I smiled we both changed "damn, look at all that ass!" He said as I blushed.

"Stopppp, you're embarrassing me!" I said as he smirked "but it's true!" "I know but you don't gotta say it out loud, it's embarrassing!" He grabbed my hand "fine whatever, let's go,"

We grabbed towels Nan's we walked to the springs. The lady took us to our private one, opening a door that led to a small pool of water, plants and flowers surrounded it and steam was rising from it, light music also played in the background, then The lady left.

"Ok, just take off your robe and get in," he said "this is the first time I'm gonna see you naked!" I said he blushed "dude what the heck don't say it like that!" He said embarrassed. "Yeah yeah, whatever," I said, getting undressed shamelessly showing off since he's always seen me naked and I know he loves my body.

He slowly took off his robe and hung it up as my eyes widened. "Jesus Christ dude what the hell!?" I yelled as I blushed and hid my face in the water.

"What?" He said as he got in. "That's not gonna fit!" I said point at him. He started to laugh, "it'll fit, either way it doesn't matter right now, this is just for us to relax," he said, swimming over to me. "I mean as much as I want to I want you to be 100% and I know your not right now, you still need a little time and that's so ok with me, I need you to take your time,"

"Like I said before, please don't let me get pushy, if I do tell me no and stop." He kissed my nose, I wrapped my arms around him and smiled "of course, let's just relax."I said as he wrapped his arms around me. We sat and talked about random things, and I wanted to ask him about something, but was nervous.

"What's up? You can ask me anything, I'm all yours," he said as I smiled "well, this is kinda embarrassing but are you a virgin?" I asked, I mean it was something I kinda do need to know. "Umm..no I'm not," he said I nodded, I mean if I'm being honest I didn't want him to be one, just think about it, he has more experience, he knows what he is doing, but that also stroked up a question, "what's your body count?" I asked as he blushed. "I won't judge you, I love you," I said as he smiled.

"I'm not sure the exact number but I gotta say maybe around nine," I nodded "ok, that's pretty good," I said "when did you lose your virginity?" I asked "sorry if I'm asking too many questions I just, I wonder what it's like since I never got to have that feeling in a way I wanted too," I said as he smiled and kissed me.

"I was young, still in high school, I was at a party with my boyfriend at the time, we had been together for awhile and did some other stuff just not sex yet, and we went back to his place, his parents weren't home, things started to escalate, we were both extremely unexperienced and it was kinda awkward but we figured it out." He said as I smiled.

"I got home the next morning and some how aunt mito just knew I had sex and started to rant about how god would be disappointed but I dont believe in god so the only one disappointed was here," He laughed scratching the back of his head, "That's kinda cute," I said.

"I try to only do that with people I really love but sometimes I just get drunk and wake up in someone else's room naked, but I promise that won't happen when you're with me." I nodded.

"One more thing, what happened to your mom and dad, you said you lived with your aunt," I said as his smile faded. "I, when I was born my mom died, I remember my aunt said that the last thing she got to do was hold and kiss me, I wish I got to know her more, she seemed so sweet from the stories my grandma would tell me," he said I could see he was getting a little sensitive.

"Hey, it's ok," I said as he nodded "I just, I guess I sometimes feel like it's my fault and I killed her and I know I didn't but I can't help it," he said as I nodded, "then my dad left, he didn't wanna raise a child who killed his wife, he called me a devil," I frowned. "I'm so sorry baby," I said as he let a few tears fall in the water.

I pulled him closer by his jaw and kissed him. "It's ok, I understand," I said as he wrapped his arms around my bare waist. "God I'm so lucky, thank you for being with me, you're my everything," I nodded and smiled. "Look at all the stars," I said as he looked up. "It's beautiful." I nodded.

He slowly moved his hands down to my hips and stood me up with him, the water was about to our belly buttons, I put my arms around his neck and we started to slowly sway to the soft music.

I put my head against his chest, my arms around his torso as we stood there in each other's arms just holding each other, every inch of me was filled to the brim with love for him. I looked up at him and he looked down.

"I'm think I'm ready Gon,"