Straight

VIII

It's crowded in the bar tonight and he has to fight himself forward through throngs of dancing and chatting people, to get beers for him and Brett. He doesn't mind though, because he needs something light, something like being out at the bar. He knows he's been distracted all week and by now he's not sure how he feels, to be honest, just like he's not sure why he's gone home the last couple of nights. Was it because of what his mum said, about him never being there? Because he wasn't sure he wanted to do what he and Brett had been doing? Or was it actually because he wanted that more than he should? He shrugs it off and tries to be in the moment. He's here now, right? And maybe Vanessa is too? He looks around, but can't see her yet. 

He makes his way back with the beers he's scored and smiles at his best friend. 
"Anyone here yet?"
"Yeah, a few guys from the con over there. Did you text Vanessa?"
He shrugs. 
"Yeah. She said she might be there."
Brett nodds and takes a large sip of his beer. 
"Come on, wanna join the guys?"

Brett's so good at this, at chatting to everyone, bantering about nothing at all. Eddy's shy, always shy. He stands with the group and tries to relax. 
His eyes are scanning the room for the hundreth time when he sees her. 
Vanessa. 
He taps Brett's shoulder and points, to show him where he's going. Brett nodds with a lopsided smile and goes back to bantering while Eddy waves and walks the couple of steps over to her. 
"Hey." he says. 
"Hey."
She really is very pretty. Her blonde hair is long and wavy, and it falls easily over her shoulders, down to her full breasts. Those breasts, that he got to feel last week. Will he again, tonight? She grins as she catches him looking. 
"Wanna dance?"
"Oh, yeah, sure!"
He turns around and gives his glass of beer to Brett, then lets himself be pulled to the dance floor. Dancing's good, right? Dancing is not thinking. He puts his hands on her waist and lets himself go. 

How did they wind up in the corner of the bar? He's not even sure. Did she direct them here? She's smiling up at him now and bats her eyelashes. He knows exactly what she wants. 
Oh. Well. Okay then. 
He leans forward and she raises her head to him. The world around him starts moving in slow motion as he touches his lips to hers. Her tongue comes into his mouth, insistent, and he twirls his around it slowly, round and round, to about eight beats of the pounding music. Then she lets go and grins at him. His heart is racing, his mind is reeling. Why is it different this time? It feels nice, doesn't it? But he doesn't put his hand under her shirt, even if he's felt her breasts already, pushing against his shirt as they kissed. He smiles feebly and looks away. 

Brett's sober eyes are on him, and all at once it's like the whole room is gone and it's just him, Vanessa, and Brett a little ways away. Eddy blinks at him, not moving a muscle, suddenly frozen in time. But after the longest moment Brett smiles and raises his thumb and turns back to his friends, carries on chatting. The music comes back on, the world comes into focus once more. He turns back to Vanessa and shrugs apologetically and then, on a whim, he pulls her back to the dance floor. No more kissing. He can feel a monster headache coming on, his head already pounding with every beat, and all of a sudden he's dizzy too. To be honest he just wants to go home, but he can't, of course. He's agreed to go home with Brett, and he's certainly not going to pull him away from having fun, just because his head hurts. He's just going to dance with Vanessa and enjoy himself. 

And he knows in his heart that he can never ask Brett why he was looking at him like that.