Straight

XIV

He is so relaxed that for the first time in days he can actually watch the movie he's put on. He keeps glancing right, though, to where Eddy sits. His lips pull in a tiny smile as he sees how rosy Eddy's cheeks are, how carefree, how calm he looks. 
He did that, right? He did right by him, didn't he? 
He focuses back on the film and shakes his head slightly as he thinks how much better this night is, than the last. Eddy is here, and he is happy. 
What more could he possibly ask for? 
It's actually a really dumb film, but he doesn't care, and he doesn't think Eddy does either. In fact, Eddy seems to be deep in thought. 
Is he thinking about Vanessa? 

"It was great hotpot, from that place, don't you think? We should go there more often." he says quietly, to bring him back to the now. 
"Yeah, I loved it." Eddy replies, and he smiles at him, that new, sweet smile that he hadn't seen before a couple of days ago. 
Oh, the sun could rise and set with that smile, it really could. 
Brett's tired, now, but he doesn't want to interrupt the moment, this peace that they're in. Doesn't want to stop sitting here, their hands so close they touch, sometimes. He wants to lap up every moment and store it in his heart, for later, when Eddy is gone. 

They don't get up in fact, until Eddy has started yawning and stretching. Maybe he'll sleep easily tonight, being this tired? Brett turns to his wardrobe to give Eddy his privacy and shoots into some bed clothes quickly, goes off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. 
The image in the mirror seems to smile back at him, the eyes all glittery, the skin shiny. He breathes deeply and tries his hardest to stay in this happy place he has been in all night, but now that he's alone he can feel the spectres waiting, just outside of him on the periphery, the biggest one of all the girl. 
Vanessa. 

Of course, it's the dark that brings them all back in. Gone is the rosy feeling, and he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling as Eddy moves restlessly next to him.
"So, have you heard from Vanessa today?" he asks when he can't take it anymore.
"Nah." Eddy says somewhat somberly.  "To be honest, I think she just wants a bit of fun at the bar."
Wait, what? He blinks into nothing as he tries to process that statement. Vanessa certainly seemed to be plenty into Eddy yesterday, and who could blame her? He has no idea how to react to that. Is Eddy sad? Disappointed? He doesn't sound that disappointed. What can he do for him? 
"Sorry." he says helplessly, in the end. 
"Nah, don't be. It's fine. She's not all that, anyway."
"Maybe, but still."

She's not all that? What does that even mean? Brett wishes he had the faintest idea where he stands, right now. Or where Eddy stands, for that matter. But then... there is one thing he does know for sure: Eddy's been happy, tonight, and the fact that he could give him that makes him prouder than winning that competition last year. 
Is it the right thing though, for him? Is he doing right by him?
The thoughts are racing around his brain so fast that he feels like it could burst open any minute, and even though he knows he was sleepy earlier, he just can't seem to find that setting on the metronome at the moment. Despite being exhausted he's never been more awake in his life.

Eddy is awake too, he knows. He can hear him turning, he can hear him stewing in fact. 
Oh God, this silence is killing him, murdering him. It takes an eternity and a half, but then he gives up and clears his throat.
"Can't sleep?"
"Nah. You?"
"Nah."
Brett nods quietly. He's so tired now that he can't think straight anymore, and his body is moving out of some primal instinct, rolling over, moving closer to Eddy. He turns on his left side and waits. 
Eddy seems to still for a second, but then he moves too. In fact, he puts his arm around Brett's torso, his right hand resting on both of Brett's hands, in front of his chest. Brett's mouth opens slack, and he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He doesn't swipe at them, though. Eddy would feel that. 
Oh, Eddy's belly is warm and soft against his back, and its heaven. The tears overflow into his pillow and he breathes deeply. Can he just stay awake all night, and savour this?
But the metronome in his brain has slowed at last, and before he knows it he is asleep.