Straight

XXIV

His intentions have been so good. The best, really, and he's kind of made it, too. He's bantered with Eddy, with Jack, Cho, even with Jill. He's let it go, he really has. But he's just walking out of the toilets and back to the cafeteria when he sees Eddy and Jill, standing together in the corner, a little ways away from where they were just sitting as a group. And he can't help it, he freezes to the spot and watches, his eyes glued to the scene like it's a car crash he can't look away from. Eddy seems to clear his throat and talks, and Jill smiles that same coquettish smile he saw yesterday. Tosses her long hair over her right shoulder and nods.
Brett wants to run away, back into the bathroom, or maybe outside, into the sunshide. But he shakes his head and mans up.
This is good. This is what Eddy wants, what he needs.
He plasters a smile on his face and walks forward, back to where the rest of them are sitting. Makes his way to solfege and minds his own fucking business.

"So, you taking Jill to the restaurant?" he asks Eddy neutrally when the torment is over, the day is done. At least this part of it.
"Yeah, I figured. Meet you guys at the bar after?"
"Sounds good, bro."
Eddy should look happy, he should look excited. But to be honest, he just looks nervous. Is he even okay? Brett is just grasping around his head for something useful to say when Jill turns up.
"Eddy!"
Eddy turns around and this sickly sweet smile spreads over his face. A weird, almost grotesque smile, nothing at all like the way he's been smiling at him. It stops everything dead for Brett and he takes a quick step back. Thank God he didn't say anything, thank God Jill turned up before he could ask him if he's okay. Of course he's okay. Why the fuck wouldn't he be? He's about to get what he's wanted forever, right? Without another word he turns around and leaves them to it. He can go practise, do something useful.
"Jill! You ready to go?" Eddy asks happily behind him.
"Absolutely." she says, and for some reason he's sure she's tossing her hair over that shoulder again.
Pretty hair, that Eddy can run his fingers through as he kisses her.

Why the fuck is he crying? It makes no logical sense, but he can't help it, a tear rolls over his cheek as he closes the door of the practice room behind him. He sits down on the dirty chair in the corner and buries his head in his hands. Eddy's off, probably entering the restaurant right now, with the girl he likes. Will she replace him completely? Will it be her he'll be sleeping next to every night? That he watches inception with over and over again? Practises side by side with? He swipes at another tear and gets up with a shock.
They'll still be friends, right?
He opens his violin case and takes out the other love of his life. Maybe not as big as the first, but probably the one he can depend on more. He puts the shoulder rest on and tunes quickly, starts on the four octave A flat major scale.
He's just working on his Dont etude when the door opens.
"Ah, there you are. Jeez, Brett, aren't you taking this practising shit a bit overly serious?"
Brett turns around with a sarcastic grin, fit for Jack.
"What, and get somewhere you mean? Yeah, why'd I want that?"
"Yeah, yeah. You comin' to the bar then, or you stayin' here and being a grumpy guts all night?"
Brett huffs and turns around to put his violin away.
"Of course I'm coming. What do you think."

To be honest, he sounds a lot more sure than he really is about this. He knows Eddy and Jill will be there later, and he knows how much that sucked last time. But he's got to learn to live with this.
Might as well start now, right?