Straight

VII

They sit there forever, their backs pressed into the couch, not talking, each of them with their own thoughts. Everything is suddenly feeling a lot easier now that the tension that has been with him all day is finally gone. 
He doesn't know how long they sit like that, but again it's Brett who breaks the silence. 
"Eddy... sorry, I need to know... was this okay? I mean... erm... are we okay?"
He turns to him and thinks for a long moment, but the words are already there, pressing up at him from below, from where it counts. He's got to put Brett's mind at ease, of course, but he knows he means what he's about to say.
"Of course it was okay, Brett. It... you saw what I thought about it I think."
Brett grins quietly as Eddy carries on automatically. 
"I guess it's just... I don't want this to change anything between us. You and me, we've always been best bros, we've been perfect. I just... I need that."
Of course, he never did get the chance to go to his own house, his own room, to think it through on his own, so now he seems to be thinking out loud. The way he often does with Brett, because he can say anything to Brett, right? Is that different now? 
"It just scares me."
"Okay, I get that." Brett's voice is very, very quiet. "It scares me too. So... so do you want to stop doing it?"
Eddy stills for a moment and looks at his best friend. He looks so serious, and he tries not to feel what Brett's words do to him on the inside. 
"Do you?"
Brett swallows visibly and looks at his legs. 
"No. Can we just do this sometimes? Maybe? It just... it feels...."
Eddy smiles as Brett colours bright red. 
"It feels nice." he aquiesces and Brett nods. 
"Yeah."
"Okay."
Brett looks up at him. 
"Okay we can do this sometimes? And nothing else changes?"
Eddy nods. 
"Okay."
Brett nods too. 
"We're just two single guys, helping each other out. It's not weird."

Is it Eddy he's trying to convince or himself? 
"You're right. It's not."
Look. It'll be okay. They'll find a new equilibrium. Of course they will.
"So!" Brett says, his tone suddenly back to normal. "Did... did Vanessa text?"
He shakes his head.
"Nah. Do you think I should text her instead? She said she would text me though."
Brett shrugs.
"It's not like I'm an expert, but maybe?"
"Alright."

He types a generic message quickly and puts the phone back on the table. To be honest, he doesn't actually think Vanessa is ever him texting again. Fucking well see if he cares.
Brett presses play and they sit, close together, the awkwardness gone for now, the tension too, and watch the movie until Eddy's eyes are falling shut. 
"Okay, bedtime for you." Brett says with an exaggerated smirk. He bumps him playfully in the shoulder. 
He shakes his head and says nothing as he gets up to go to the toilet and brush his teeth. He has a toothbrush here, of course. He stares at himself in the mirror above the sink, his hands on either side of the cool porcelain. There are circles under his eyes. 
Yeah. That'll be the lack of sleep. 
Does he look different, though? Maybe not, but he feels different. Real different. 

It's easier to slide into Brett's bed this time, as he waits for him to come back from the bathroom. Maybe it's because of their talk? Or maybe just because he's so fucking tired? Either way, he's falling asleep as soon as Brett pulls the covers over himself and says goodnight.