Straight

XVII

Eddy walks in after Jack and Cho have joined them at the table, and it's so stupid, but despite everything his heart makes a little joyous jump at the sight of him. 
Yeah, he's really got to learn not to do that. 
Eddy comes over to them with a smile, that's just a little bit too wide, and his cheeks are just a little bit too flushed, and what Brett tried not to know before is obvious now. He's gone and had a quick wank. 
Why is he disappointed? What a stupid thing to feel. Eddy doesn't owe him anything. So why does this thought keep pressing up at him? 
I could have done that for you, my love. 
What is it to him anyway? It's none of his fucking business what Eddy does in the bathroom. 
"Thanks, bro." he says as he sits down and takes a sip of his coffee. "Maybe I'll wake up now."
Brett grins and braces himself. 
"I was just talking to Jill about the bar a couple nights ago." he says off-handedly.
Jill nods straight away and bats her eyelashes at Eddy.
"Yeah, we should go there at some point. Maybe grab a bite to eat first."
She's saying it to the whole table, but he knows why she's only looking at Eddy. He holds his breath as he takes in Eddy's surprise, as he sees his breath halt for just a moment, as he watches him recover. 
"Yeah, that'd be cool!" Eddy says then. His eyes shoot to Brett, but he can't face eye contact right now. He's already saying something unimportant to Jack about the Mendelssohn they just saw.
He can talk to Jack, while Eddy finalises his plans with yet another girl.  

"So!" Did I get that right? You got a date, right?" he asks him as if he didn't already know. They are walking through the upstairs hall to the music theory class they both have to catch up.
Eddy nods. "Yeah. Novel experience, having a girl ask me, instead of the other way around."
Brett almost shakes his head, but he stops himself in time. He hates it when Eddy is down on himself like this. Does he not look in the mirror? Does he not see how gorgeous he is?
"When are you going to realise you're handsome, Eddy? Lots of girls look at you. You just don't see it." 
Eddy turns to him in surprise, then looks away.
"Maybe. I dunno. I could say the same about you."
This time Brett laughs out loud before he can stop himself.
"Yeah, 'cause girls are just throwing themselves at me, hey?" he says harshly, more harshly than he intends. 
But it's true, right? Eddy is the handsome one of the two of them and he just... isn't. People like him fine, but not for his looks. 
And that's okay. I mean, his heart has long since been promised to someone who doesn't want it. So who cares, anyway? 
Eddy touches his shoulder for a moment, and it's so sweet he could kiss him. 

He really should focus on this class, but there's just no focus to be had, today, it's all on Eddy, who is looking out of the window, clearly worried, his mind far away. He thought he'd be happy, because he's got a date, right? He doesn't understand why he doesn't seem happy. 
Is he even okay? 
Before he knows it he hasn't written down a single thing, which he knows will lead to a bad grade, and they are walking home. And he has to say something. 

"You've been very preoccupied." he states. It's not a question, he knows.
"Nah, just thinking." Eddy shrugs.
"About Jill?"
"As well."
"As well?"
"Yeah. Just stuff. Don't worry about it."
"Don't worry about it? Why? Are you okay?"
Worry grips his heart hard. There's something going on with Eddy, he's sure of it, and he's not tellling him what. Hasn't he always told him everything? 
Oh God, has he gone and fucked all that up?
"Yeah, I'm good." Eddy says unconvincingly, but quite definitively. "I guess I've just been busy or something."

Look, what can he say? He can't force him to talk. So he nods and jogs up the couple of steps to his room, opens the door to let him in. 
"Let's just watch a movie hey?" he says as if it's nothing. "Practise, play some games. You'll feel better after that."
"Yeah. Sounds good."