Always

15| The Distance

He's sorry.

What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?

It's been a week and I haven't uttered a word to Greyson since I went to his house. We exchanged apologies, but it still didn't change the way I felt about him.

There was no other way to feel about Greyson. He's a stupid dickface who can't decide if he wants to be the hero or the villain and there's nothing else to it.

I can't forgive him because it meant forgiving myself and I'm afraid of that most. Opening these old wounds is just going to suck me back into the past and I'll become the girl I desperately tried to run away from. I can't lose myself again.

I push these thoughts away as I'm approached by very distressed Jacob on my way to my locker.

"Hey Allison,"

"Oh hey Jacob, what's up?"

"Nothing much I was just wondering if you'd seen Mya today, I wanted to talk to her."

"Oh, sorry I haven't. She's been pretty wrapped up with art lately so haven't seen her. Is everything...okay?"

"Oh yeah no everything's..."

"Everything's...?"

"I don't know how anything is because we haven't spoken since the party. I thought something clicked that night but I've been in the dark since. And I thought maybe I've just been imagining things but I can't stop thinking about her Allison. It's driving me crazy because I've loved her for so long but I don't know how to tell her without sounding like an obsessed psychopath or if I should tell her at all," he says all in one breath.

I FUCKING KNEW IT !

"I had no idea you felt that way. She hasn't answered any of your texts either?"

"Oh, no I don't have her number so I was-"

"Now you do." I say as his phone vibrates in his pocket. "You're a great guy Jacob, and I respect you and the way you respect my bestfriend. I one hundred percent approve of your feelings for her. She like honesty but modesty. Just be yourself and tell her how you feel when you're ready."

"Thanks Allison."

"No problem. Just...talk a little slower okay?"

I couldn't believe that something happened at the homecoming party and Mya hadn't told me. I've been so caught up in my own little world with Greyson I barely paid attention to the world around me. She is so spilling later.

I open my locker to get my history textbook out when for the second time today a pink sticky note falls out of my locker.

"U left ur Mandarin textbook in class tdy."

x. G"

I've been getting notes from Greyson all week. They weren't cringey or creepy. In fact they were awfully written just how they were when we were younger, but they were sweet. I looked forward to reading them especially since we weren't able to talk at school because we've been keeping this whole thing a secret.

Whatever this is.

This one was actually pretty helpful since we have a test tomorrow and mandarin is the one subject I absolutely suck in. That means I'll have to stop by Greyson to get it. No we weren't friends, but at least we weren't gnawing at each other's throats.

***

History actually wasn't boring today. We had a huge debate on inequality within race and gender. It was no surprise that there were the misogynistic racist boys in our class that were trying to justify the wrongdoing of society in the past and even now.

Of course I know to hear both sides before forming my opinion, but what else was there to hear? Maybe if society listened to the people of color and women more there wouldn't be such a huge unspoken war between us. I mean we're all humans. There's always two sides of a story.

Right?

A/N:

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