Always

30| Complicated

Greyson

I fucked up.

I mean I must've since over the past week and a half the only thing I've received from Allison was awkward eye aversion every time we made eye contact. No texts, no visits, not even a random selfie. She even brings an eraser now to biology so she won't have to ask to use mine like she always does.

I texted her a few times to make sure she was okay but she hasn't even read my messages. Normally in this situation the roles are reversed and if it was any other girl I wouldn't give a shit.

But this wasn't just any other girl, it was her.

The first girl I've ever loved and ever hurt. And the only girl I've ever experienced true intimacy with. The kind you play over and over in your head before bed to help you sleep at night. It's sounds mushy and nothing like anything that has ever left my lips but it was true.

I was aching for her. Not just the warmth of her touch but just sitting in her presence watching her smile was enough for me. I just need to know that she's okay and not knowing if she truly is, was slowly consuming me from the inside out. Whether I liked it or not things between us were affecting my mood and my dickhead bestfriends were starting to notice.

"Alright we're throwing a party!" Kev announces.

"Alrig-wait what? Why?" Jacob asks.

"Look at him," he says pointing over to me. I roll my eyes and ignore them continuing to scroll mindlessly on my phone. "He's clearly in desperate need of a distraction and when I need a distraction I like to par-tay."

"You're right about the first part, but he hates parties and alcohol...and people. Basically everything a party consists of, so I don't think that's a good idea."

"What does he like?"

"Tits," Jacob shrugs and they both laugh.

"You know, I'd appreciate it if you two would stop talking about me as if I'm not RIGHT HERE !" I shout chucking a couch cushion in their direction. Kevin squeals and ducks but Jacob catches it.

At least they weren't wrong.

"Hey! You may have money but not even doctors can fix this," Kevin say gesturing to his face.

"Why are you so moody anyway? This isn't about some girl is it?"

"What? No." I answered. A long silence followed before Kevin speaks.

"It's about a girl."

"Yup. Definitely is." Jacob agrees.

"No it's not," I brush them off.

"No it's not," Kevin mocks. "We weren't born yesterday," he pauses to look at Jacob. "Well I wasn't born yesterday. Seriously, what's up?"

I sigh knowing they weren't gonna let this go. "Okay, so there's this girl I like an—"

"OKAY PAUSE," they say in unison.

"What?" I ask.

"DID YOU SAY LIKE?"

"Okay can you two stop that. And yes I did. Why are you so surprised?"

"What do you mean why? You've literally only had actual feelings for one girl your whole life and well..."

"You fucked it up," Jacob deadpanned.

"Yeah what he said. You aren't exactly the type get emotionally attached to anyone so this is a pretty big shocker."

"Well that was three years ago and I've started to feel things for someone...else, but now she's being distant."

"Ooo that's never good," Kevin grimaces.

"Nope. Definitely isn't," Jacob agrees.

"Thanks captain obvious and captain obvious junior for your amazing observation!" I shake my head.

Where did I find these two and how do I give them back?

"We try."

"Try harder."

"Okay, okay. Jacob's the only one with an actual love life so Jacob this is where you come in."

"Ali told me to just tell her how I feel and be honest about it."

"See, how hard can it be?" Kevin asks.

If you knew.

"Very, because it's not that simple. I can't just tell her—it's complicated."

"Then un-complicate it and tell her."

"I keep telling you guys that I can't-"

"You can't or you won't?"