Always

57| Can I?

"Hey partner,

I know, a grammatically correct written note is a first. But I've always written my notes horribly because I know how much you like to proofread them. No normal person proofreads their friend's stories for fun in second grade.

But that's okay because you aren't normal. You've existed in my memories before I was old enough to form them so I can definitely say for sure that you're far from the norm.

You like pickle on pizza and left snacks under your bed incase the monsters get hungry so that they wouldn't eat you. Because somehow eight year old you thought that gummy worms would suffice a monster. You drew cute little pinky pie ponies and gave them to anyone who seemed sad in hopes of cheering them up.

Homework was your favorite thing to do and you'd run home to complete it everyday without fail. You loved using tree branches as wands during recess but only every other day to let them recharge because they 'obviously weren't magic'.

You were so afraid of googly eyes the first week of kindergarten that you tried to walk around with your eyes closed so you wouldn't scare anyone with your own. One time you cried because you thought too hard about how a trash can might feel if it knew that we threw trash in it.

Believe me when I say I can go on and on about the not so normal things you did and do because it was those little things that made me fall in love with you. I first fell in love with you when we were six years old. I'm sure I loved you way before that, but that December in first grade confirmed it.

My mom and dad were fighting a lot just before then. I didn't understand what was going on or why but in my eyes it was love because no matter what happened they kissed and held each other at night. I thought things were fine until she left. I woke up thinking that that day was like every other but it wasn't because she was gone and she didn't even bother to say goodbye.

I didn't want to admit it but I was always jealous of your family. I was angry because your mother loved you and the world somehow believed that I didn't deserve that love. I was a nuisance to you since before I can remember but I was an absolute dipshit after my mom left.

I was depressed at six years old and didn't even know it. But you made me feel a happiness I didn't know I could feel. It happened to be on one of the days your wand was recharged and you used the last of the battery life to cast a happiness spell on me. I'm not saying it worked or anything but I definitely felt happier knowing you were there.

Ever since then I was intensely more aware of you. Like you were a flower I watered everyday out of boredom but that day you bloomed. You made my life so much brighter with your presence and the sadness I felt most days faded with the light of your kindness.

I like how I feel when I'm around you and the person I've become. Although I nagged you continuously and always wrote you smart remarked ill-spelled notes, it was the only way I new how to stay close to you.

The three years you spent avoiding me left me confused the entire time. I thought that you finally got fed up with our little charade and wanted space so I reluctantly gave it to you. Despite the distance between us I still watched you from afar to make sure my flower never wilted. But you did and I didn't know why.

I couldn't approach you because I knew deep down that you hated me. It would hurt to even think about but my heart never wavered. Because I knew that I've never felt what I feel with you with anyone before and I knew that I never again will in this life or any other.

Believe it or not I wake up everyday and thank Mrs. White for giving us that stupid biology project the first week of school because it opened the doors for me to enter your life again.

These past few months have been the best of my entire life. The good, the bad, the awkward—every waking moment with you has been the highlight of my existence.  I can no longer fathom standing beside and supporting no one else in this world but you.

I've seen you in nearly every version that's come to light so far and I adore and admire each and every one. I didn't know it was possible to fall in love with the exact same person countless times but I do every single day.

I like you. I love you. I'm in love with you. I admire you. I adore you and I want to cherish you. I want to hold your hand. I want to argue about your questionable taste in ice cream and make out after. I want to be there for you at your worst to prove I'm worthy enough to be there when you're at your best. I want to go to Walmart with you and feel like a married couple at the grocery store.

I want to cook your favorite foods and watch your beautiful smile creep on your face. I want to cook with you and teach you how to love food again. I want to be there with you and help you to love yourself again. I yearn for you.

I need you.

So please, turn around?"

At this point my hand's covering my mouth to prevent the sobs from slipping out of my mouth. My entire face is wet like I've been standing in the rain but in reality it's all just tears. That was easily the most beautiful thing I've read about myself.

I slowly turn around to see a bouquet of red roses so massive that I can't even see the person behind them. I scoff in disbelief and awe at the sight.

"Sorry," his voice bellowed placing the enormous bouquet down. "You're crying. Why're you crying princess?" he asks worryingly already swiping my never ending stream of tears with his thumbs.

"I love you," I sob as I kiss him.

"And I love you," he smiles. "Can I be your boyfriend?"

I stop for a moment, the question not fully registering in my mind. "What?"

"I want to officially be your boyfriend. So can I?"

A/N:

Happy holidays everyone!!!

And I'd like to add that you all are so freaking sweet and awesome. I read every single one of your comments and they absolutely make my day. Thank you so much for the support you have no idea how much it means to me. <3333

I have about 4$ in my bank account you guys can get whatever you want. 🥰🥰🥰