Bonds of Light and Fire

3. Secrets of the Heart

The artwork above is not mine.

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By the end of the day, Vaughan was exhausted and ready to return home. Kron and Malik had been less than thrilled to learn that they were now under his supervision, and they were sure to let him know that. Vaughan was quick to remind them of their places. He would have to remind them a few more times before they really learned, though.

After training ended for the day, he'd been too tired to consider helping Luciana with some additional practice. She hadn't sought him out anyway. Vaughan learned from Kyllian that she'd gone to see Aeron as soon as her lessons ended. He was still with the medics. Apparently, Kron and Malik had broken his nose and chipped his jaw. It was taking the healers longer than expected to fix the damage.

Vaughan could only imagine the trouble that would ensue when Nascha learned how her friend was being treated. She hadn't been to the Bane's camp since becoming Lady of Arcelia, but that could change with good cause. Aeron being beaten into a bloody mess would be reason enough for her.

That was why, as he left the camp, he decided not to tell her. Vaughan shifted into his osprey and soared into the darkening sky. The days were much shorter now that autumn had settled in. He liked the additional hours of darkness.

When he'd been blood-sworn to Maeve, nighttime was his only time of relief. During the night, Maeve was asleep and he was alone to do what he liked. Except on the rare occasions when Fenrys was gone and Vaughan was summoned in his place. Before Fenrys and Connall arrived, Vaughan had been Maeve's bed partner. When Connall swore the oath, he was forced to take Vaughan's place, and later, Fenrys swore the oath under the stipulation that Maeve would leave Connall alone. She agreed, but even then, Connall wasn't untouchable. None of them were.

Vaughan had lost count of how many balls he'd attended where he was ordered to leave with one of Maeve's guests on his arm. Connall often suffered the same, and Gavriel too. Gavriel had been another member of the Cadre, and was actually Aedion's father and Aelin's uncle. He'd been killed during the war with the Valg, and his name was tattooed on Vaughan's forearm in the Old Language. Every remaining member of the Cadre, himself, Rowan, Fenrys, and Lorcan, bore that tattoo.

Vaughan was the only one who carried a tattoo of Connall's name, although he knew Fenrys was considering having Rowan give him one. Rowan had been the one to do his, shortly after he moved to Terrasen. Rowan had asked no questions about the addition of the name and Vaughan wouldn't have answered even if he had. Only Nascha and Fenrys knew the truth. He had loved Connall. He still did.

Vaughan could recall every stolen glance they shared. Every small remark. Every secret gift. Every unspoken word that had never passed between them. All of it. They'd been bound to Maeve for over a century together, and he remembered all of it. He remembered how they had forced themselves to keep their distance from one another. Forced themselves to remain silent and unmoved when they were being punished. Forced themselves not to give in and admit how they felt. Forced themselves to be nothing more than what they were.

He also remembered how hard Maeve made it for them. Despite their efforts to keep their feelings hidden, Vaughan knew Maeve had at least suspected the truth. She'd done everything in her power to make them slip up, but they never did. If they had, it would've cost them more than their lives. It would've cost them their friends. Their brothers. Each other.

They'd had over a century together, and they spent it apart. Not a single word. Not a single kiss. Not a single utterance of affection. Only stolen moments and secret looks. Only little gestures and interpreted meanings. Only dark simmering looks exchanged with one of Maeve's favorites between them. Not a single touch. Not a single night. Not a single hour. Not a single minute.