Bonds of Light and Fire

43. Timid Progress

"Are you all right?" Fenrys asked, leaning closer to Vaughan. "You've been acting strange today."

"I'm fine," Vaughan replied. "I've just had a lot on my mind."

He peered over the heads of people passing by and caught sight of Luciana and Nascha. They were walking close together and laughing about something. A few bags dangled from each of their arms. Apparently, their shopping endeavors were proving successful.

Fenrys elbowed his side, catching his attention. "Such as?" Vaughan didn't answer. "Have you given more thought to what you learned in Doranelle?"

"Yes." Vaughan felt Fenrys' gaze on him, but refused to meet it.

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"In a sense."

"Hey." Fenrys ceased walking. Vaughan paused a few feet ahead and arched an eyebrow. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Vaughan sighed and massaged his temples wearily. "I'm sorry. I just... I've been having these dreams lately. Dreams that end with something terrible happening to Luciana. I don't know what. All I know is that unless I tell her the truth and accept the..."

"Bond?" Fenrys offered.

"There's no way to prevent that terrible thing from happening," Vaughan finished. "But I can't tell her. I can't be bound to someone that way ever again."

"Not even if it's the only way to save her life?" Vaughan didn't answer. "I don't know what to tell you, Vaughan. You'll have to make a decision sooner or later. You must know how difficult it will be to hide this. It's a part of you. She is a part of you. I know you think that by choosing her, you're giving up Connall, but Con would want you to choose her. He would want you to be complete. She completes you in a way that he never would've been able to."

"It's not that," Vaughan interrupted.

Fenrys cocked his head, locks of blonde hair tumbling over his shoulder. "It's not?"

Vaughan shook his head. "I think I already started to let Connall go."

"When?"

"A while ago. I promised Luciana I'd give her an explanation for how I was acting after we returned from Doranelle, so I told her everything. Or, almost everything. I told her about being blood-sworn to Maeve. I told her about when you and Connall first arrived. I told her how Connall and I came to care for one another." His hand fell to his thigh. "And I made the choice to let her help me."

"Has she?" Fenrys asked.

"Yes, more than I thought possible. And throughout all of this, I began to let go of my hold on Connall. I still love him. Part of me always will, but..."

"There's someone else now," Fenrys finished for him. "That's how I felt about Seraphina when I began to fall in love with Nascha."

"I wouldn't say I'm in love with Luciana."

"But you care for her?"

Vaughan hesitated, then nodded. Despite his efforts, he had begun to care for her. He'd cared for her from the beginning. Now, that caring had deepened. Become more real. More meaningful. More...dangerous.

"The message Connall gave me," Vaughan began. "He told me not to be afraid of what's coming. I'm beginning to think that perhaps Luciana was the thing that was coming. The thing Connall didn't want me to be afraid of."

"Connall knew more than what he asked me to tell you," Fenrys murmured.

Vaughan glanced at him. There was a knowing look in his onyx eyes. For a moment, Vaughan wondered how much Connall had said that Fenrys chose not to reveal to him. He pushed that thought aside. If Fenrys hadn't shared it, odds were, it wasn't something he wanted to know.