Bonds of Light and Fire

63. Acceptance

Vaughan lay awake long after Luciana had fallen asleep. For once, she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Her breaths were deep and even, and her features were relaxed. He felt no distress or panic through either bond. Vaughan brushed his knuckles over her bare shoulder, then wound a golden curl around his finger.

He hadn't expected things to go as well as they had. He hadn't expected that he'd be able to do and accept so much. He knew Luciana felt the same way. Vaughan had tried to be gentle and did his best to keep her calm through it all. Watching Luciana slowly unravel had been torture. The best kind. The kind that sent aching heat churning through his body and feral instincts clawing at his mind.

Those powerful instincts were still chafing against him. They urged him to protect and care for her. They urged him to claim her, and make sure everyone knew that she was his. They seemed to be seeping from the gleaming tether in his chest. It had grown stronger in the night, and Vaughan wondered if Luciana could feel it too.

He knew what it meant now, and he could no longer doubt or deny it. Vaughan smiled, touching his palm to Luciana's cheek. She made a small sound, but didn't wake. He would have to tell her soon. He wouldn't allow her to go into battle not knowing. She would need an explanation for the actions he planned to take anyway. Actions her own brother had agreed to.

Vaughan lifted her hand, the one that bore a scar from their blood connection. He kissed the scar, then pressed a soft kiss to Luciana's lips. He allowed his gaze to travel over her. Only her silhouette was visible, outlined by the sheets draped around her, but that didn't stop Vaughan from taking in every soft curve that was graced by silvery moonlight.

He wanted to see her entirely. He wanted to see light shining from her skin and love reflecting in her eyes. He wanted to hold her close and slowly bring them both over the edge. He wanted to hear her breathless gasps and whispered pleas. He wanted to give her everything she asked for and more. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. How much he needed her. How much he wanted her.

Vaughan rolled onto his back and clasped his hands over his stomach. At this rate, I'm never going to fall asleep, he thought. Maybe I should go jump around in the snow for a bit. That would certainly cool him down, but would it be enough to calm his burning instincts?

Slowly, Vaughan began to smile. He let himself relish the instincts and what they meant. He rolled over once more and inched closer to Luciana, breathing in her citrus and lavender scent. He touched his forehead to hers. "You are my mate," he murmured. "And I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are safe, no matter what happens to me. I promise."

Vaughan lingered there for a few minutes, then twisted out of bed. Luciana didn't stir, even when the door creaked as he opened it. Vaughan stepped into the hallway and continued into the main room of the cabin. Brin lay before the fireplace. She lifted her head, catching sight of him.

"You can have your bed back now," Vaughan chuckled.

Brin padded over to him on quiet paws. She followed him across the room towards a bookshelf. Vaughan gave a small sigh, studying the charcoal drawing of a black wolf. He picked up the wooden box beside it and opened it. Connall's scent wafted towards him, dew, foliage, and cedar.

Vaughan lifted the bracelet of hair to his lips and closed his eyes. You knew, he thought. You knew and you told Fenrys not to tell me. You knew how I would react if I didn't find out on my own, when I was ready. You must've known she was my carranam too. You didn't want me to be afraid of her. Of what she is.

"Tell him that it's all right for him to move on. Tell him that he doesn't have to close his heart to others just because he had to close it to me. And...tell him not to be afraid of what's coming."