The way you deserve

8-Burden

Hiraeth

I wake up at the same time to get ready for school, it's been a month and a half since we went skating.

Things have been pretty nice between both our groups and it seems like Kai might ask Mia out soon, I think so at least.

These past few weeks, Mom has been pissed about things even though I don't think I've done anything wrong, she doesn't like me going out too much, she doesn't like it when I'm reading, she doesn't like it when I'm doing anything other than studying.

I peeked downstairs to see if she was there, thankfully she wasn't.

After living with an abusive father, the last thing I want is to have an abusive mother.

Oh shit, wasn't that my story for another day?

I mean today is another day so, yeah.

My dad wasn't a bad person, but once he started drinking and went off his rocker, it made him crazy and delusional, he used to hit me and my mom daily, and even cheated on my mother

This went on for around 11 years before we were actually able to get out, once we did, it wasn't easy, no stable income, no stable mental health.

It took us 7 years to get our own home, and to become stable, and the journey wasn't easy, sometimes my mom and I were close, sometimes I was an easy way to take out anger for her, and there were times I was suicidal and times when I cut myself

Life was tough, it is tough, but now I've learned how to manage myself, I don't cut anymore, 3 years clean and I haven't felt suicidal in around 2 years.

mental health? we don't do that here.

my mom is kinda abusive too, I don't know if you can call it that though, she slaps me a couple of times and throws things, and sometimes yells, not always though.

She wants me to be this overachiever, because if I'm not, then I'm just a burden.

We have been having a lot of arguments and fights for the last few weeks, it's not like my grades dropped or anything, she just wants me to try harder and be better.

But what is better than an A+?

I am mentally exhausted and more so physically, my head hurts all the time and I have this ringing in my ear.

I decided not to go to school today since I don't feel well, if I go, I'll end up getting worse.

I sleep for a bit and before I realize it's now after school timing, I check my phone to see some missed calls and texts from my friends.

Mia: Are you alright? Call me asap

Cain: Bestie what's up, r u sick? Call me, ily <3

How sweet, I think as I reply to them both and go on to the third text,

Arcane: why were you not at school today? Is everything okay?

Why am I getting butterflies over a text?

I reply a simple "everything's okay, just sick" and he sees it quickly, he replies with a short ok.

Dry AF buddy

It is now evening, and my mom will be home any moment, I decide to watch tv in the meantime and it wasn't long before I heard the door open, I looked back only to find my mom.

She looks mad, why though?

"Did you miss school today?" She asks me
"Yes I wasn't feeling well, why" I reply honestly
Before I could notice what was happening I felt a sharp sting on my left cheek as the realization dawned on me.