A Crusader in Eragon

I Did What? Oh Hey Alex, FUCK YOU

Andy woke up with a splitting headache. How much did he drink last night?

Ruby: Wow, you're the first one awake?

Andy: And somehow I don't feel that bad, just a headache and that's fading.

Ruby: Impressive, considering everything you did.

Andy: How come you're not affected?

Ruby: I don't drink.

Andy: Alright, what happened?

Ruby: Well you were all sad because you lost Ryuu, again somehow. So you started drinking, at one point a portal opened up and a bottle of vodka came through it, and hit you in the head. After that everyone else joined you in drinking, except me, and you all did some crazy stuff. You showed off your abilities, and you kept yelling at the air to shut up. Anyways, once you guys were super drunk you climbed the big tree and drank the cup at the top, the fairy girl was kinda upset but was too drunk to really do anything. Then you guys passed out.

Andy: Wait, you said I drank the thing at the top?

Ruby: Yep, I'm more worried about the portal that threw vodka at you.

Andy: Well shit I screwed this timeline... I've gotta fix that.

[You could use lucifer's coin, or just buy it]

Andy: Oh let's use the coin, seems like a good time to use it.

So Andy pulled the coin out of his inventory, tossed it in the air, and it landed on its edge... HOW THE FUCK

Andy: HOW?

There was a loud popping sound and some dude pops out.

Alex: Sup, I'm Alex, you get two wishes since you managed to flip it on its edge.

Andy: You aren't Lucifer.

Alex: Correct, little godling. I am Alex, servant of Satan. So what do you want?

Andy didn't even hesitate

Andy: Refill the fountain of youth, and bring Ryuu back to life!

Alex: Done, and I can't, author's orders.

Andy: Author?

Alex: Ruler of your fate, it doesn't really matter.

Andy: Well fuck that guy, just give me a set of peerage pieces.

Alex: Done, oh yeah I'll also take payment, since this wasn't a prepaid visit.

Andy: Oh alright, take what you need.

Alex: Hippity hoppity, your stats are now my property.

Andy: Oh fuck you.

Alex: Nah fam your soul is black as fuck, but hey theres some white coming in, BYE.

And Alex just disappeared.

Andy: PULL UP MY STATS, RIGHT NOW!

[Name: Andy]

[Species: Dragon]

[Level: 10]

[HP: 1000]

[MP: 5,000]

[Aura: 2]

[Str: 100]

[Spd: 200]

[Dex: 104]

[End: Inf]

[Def: 1]

[Int: 20]

[Wis: 4]

[Node: 1 point is the power of one healthy adult]

Abilities:

Life sense(Level 49/50)

Aura(Level: 1/4)

Command magic(Level 40/100)

Swordsmanship (level 100/100)

Telepathy: (Level 50/100)

Dragonkin bloodline (100%)

Immortal: Only the flames of hell can possibly hurt you.

Andy: That bastard took my angel away. Also my defense and magic but that doesnt matter too much.

[yeah, but hey you got crusader pieces. It's the crusader equivalent, you can basically make mini crusaders with them. They will have their own stats and inventory, but everything else is restricted]

Andy: Yeah ok fair... I'm still mad.

[Yeah bro, also you still have dragon wings. So you pretty much just lost your holy element]

Andy fell to the floor in exhaustion. The day had been taxing, he had truly lost Ryuu, gotten biblically drunk, drank the fountain of youth, lost some of his stats, and now he could make his own little army of crusaders.

Andy: I'm just gonna sleep now.

{Congratulations!}

Andy: ARGGSGHGDGH

{You have maxed out your life sense. You will now go through a series of trials, and then be given a reward!}

Andy: ARGGHG FUCK OFF!

{NO! Teleporting in 3...}

Andy: No...

{2...}

Andy: Ahhh fine.

{1, beginning teleport}

Andy stood, sword in one hand, and a bottle of whisky in the other. He took a swig and walked through the portal.