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Life changing decision

    When the day was done I went up to my room and got ready for bed. My head was hurting, but I could deal with that. I laid down in my bed just staring at the ceiling. There was a knock on my door and James walked in knowing that if I was doing something I would've yelled at him by now.

    "Hey, is something wrong?" I asked as I saw the expression on his face.

    "I wouldn't say that something is wrong. It's just that you never really told me what happened to you in the 'program' and I really want to know. Especially since you just had to go back in there." He explained.

    I sat up and sighed. "James, I really want to tell you, but I'm not ready yet. It would be rude to say that they were rougher on me than they were on you, but I believe that it's true. I mean, they did worse things to me than they did to you according to your story that you told me. Going back in there and being hurt, then having to escape brought up bad memories and I'm not ready to tell anyone. I just want to try and live my life right now. You have no idea how bad I want to tell you, but I just can't, I"m so sorry." I said.

    He stood by the door and nodded his head in understanding, but the emotion in his eyes and on his face said that he didn't really understand. "Oh yeah, you just assume that what happened to you was worse. When I told you about my experience I wasn't ready either, but I wanted someone to understand. Now, you're sitting here telling me that you aren't ready and you aren't going to tell me? Wow, I thought I knew you better than that." He said and walked out f the room.

    As he slammed the door behind him I flinched at the sound and buried my face in my hands. I was angry that he didn't trust me, but I could see where he was coming from. I got up and went down to the gym; I had to let the anger out somehow without hurting someone.

    I ran around the track ten times, did fifty push-ups, twenty curl-ups, and forty pull-ups. I went over to one of the punching bags and started to beat the crap out of it. After a few minutes the chains holding the punching bag to the ceiling creaked and the bag fell to the ground with a thud. I sighed and sat down on the ground, leaning up against the wall.

    All I ever wanted was a normal life and a normal family. My father is a traitor, my mother is abusive, my brother is a werewolf, and there is nothing normal about my life. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and leaned my head against the wall behind me. My brother was just fine without me, his friends were fine without me, my mother would've been better without me, and my father abandoned me.

    The only people that were better with me were the people in the 'program'. As sick and twisted as it sounds the 'program' has always been there. Maybe I should actually take up the offer to work for them again. I can just turn off all of my emotions just like I did before. Right now I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

    That's exactly what I did too. I curled up into a ball and cried until I heard a ringing in my ears. I dried up my tears and pulled myself together. I stood up and walked up to my room. As I walked through my door I saw that James was sitting on my bed crying.

    I stood in the doorway watching him. He had his back to me and obviously hadn't seen or heard me yet. "Why do I have to mess everything up? The first girl ever that I've actually liked and I go off and get mad at her. I heard her crying...how could I have done all of this to her? I caused her so much pain and I don't like it. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and I screwed all of it up. I actually thought that she would grow to like me. I should've known that nobody can ever like me. I destroy everything that I touch and I ruined her life. I'm the reason that she's like this now. Everything that I just said to her was just out of anger and I wish that I could explain everything to her so that she would give me a second chance." He whispered to himself.

    "James." I breathed out. His head shot in my direction and he jumped up to come over to me.

    "Skylar, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I was just angry that you didn't want to open up to me." He apologized.

    "James, it's fine. I heard everything that you just said too. It's not true that you destroy everything and it's not true that you can't be liked by anyone. I like you James and your the only person that I can be open with. It's just that I'm not ready, but when I am I promised that I'll tell you everything, okay?" I asked.

    He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around me into a bear hug. I hugged him back and decided that I wasn't going to go to the 'program' after all. James was the reason that I was staying here and I was happy about it.

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