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Depression

    I woke up to an empty bed, but I didn't have the energy to get up and look around for James. I laid my head back on the pillow and sighed. I hated not being able to get up and do things for myself it just really made me depressed. I had to be able to at least get up though right? I tried to sit up, but I fell back down. My determination level just rose and I tried to sit up again. After about three tries I was able to sit up and then I worked on trying to stand up. Once I was able to stand I attempted walking to my bathroom, but about halfway there my legs started to get weak and they just collapsed beneath me. I landed on the floor with a loud thud and I couldn't get my arms up fast enough to protect myself so as i landed on the floor my head hit the hardwood that should have been under my feet instead of my head.

    My head was starting to pound so I lifted one of my hands to the side of my head where I had landed and gently touched the part that was sore. My hand was met with a sticky and wet substance. As I pulled my hand away I was silently cursing myself for being so weak and so stupid as to think that I could have made it all the way to the bathroom by myself. I started to crawl to the bathroom because there was something that I really had to do.

    Once I reached the bathroom I shut and locked the door before crawling over to the toilet and lifting myself up onto the closed lid. I opened one of the drawers and found a pack of razor blades that I had stolen from Chris the last time that I was here. I opened the pack up and grabbed one out of the bag. I took the blade in my right hand and placed the edge against the inside of my left wrist. I took a deep breathe and then, in one fluid motion, I raked the blade across my skin. I didn't even make a noise or flinch against the pain. I was so used to pain that I couldn't feel it that much any more. I repeated the movement of the blade about ten times before I felt a little drowsy. I had figured out a little while ago that werewolves had fast healing powers, but that they could change the rate at which they heal. They could slow the healing process down to be that of a human or speed it up to the rate of a normal werewolf.

    This little trick that I learned was really coming in handy because I really didn't want to heal that fast right now. Suddenly there was a banging on the door to the bathroom and I heard James yelling from the other side. "Skylar, I smell blood...what are you doing in there? You better not be doing what I think you are doing in there or I swear that I'll-" He started.

        "Or you'll what James? Come in here and beat the crap out of me like everyone else does? That would solve everything now wouldn't it? That's what everyone does and that's just what you will do! You will use me until I finally get boring and then you will just start beating the crap out of me one day just so that you can have something to do and then soon it will turn into a habit and you will start getting more and more elaborate with how you do it. That's what they did to me in the 'program' and they were actual people. So why wouldn't you be any different to any of them?" I scream at him. I take the blade that is still in my hand and start to cut my skin repeatedly not caring in which direction or how many times I did it.

    "I'm just a worthless piece of crap that nobody is ever going to love and I'm sorry that you have to have me as a mate. I'm not good enough for you, or attractive enough, or not as nice as others, I'm not like all of the other girls, I'm not smart, and there is no way that I will ever be good enough for you!" I scream as I slash my wrist as fast as i can.

    I'm startled for a moment as the door is kicked in and lands on the floor in front of me. James comes in through the door way where the door should be hanging and walks over to me, kneeling down right in front of me. "Skylar, I swear that one day I will show you that none of the things that you just said are true and that you are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are way too good for me, and you not being like other girls is a good thing, not a bad thing. You are the nicest and most caring person that I know and I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. You are the smartest person that I have ever had the privilege to know and I would gladly brag to anyone that you are my mate and that I get to spend the rest of my life with you." He rambled.

    Once he got done with his little speech he looked away from my teary eyes and looked down at my bloody wrist and the blade in my hand. "Why would you do this to yourself?" He whispered.

    "I deserve to suffer and I deserve to die. I'm useless and you guys would be better without me." I whispered back.

    James sighed and looked up at me. "I thought that we went over this last night before going to sleep. We would not be better without you.Without you we would have been dead." He told me. He lifted me up guided me over to the sink. He took my left wrist and held it under the faucet as he turned it on. I hissed in pain as the water hit my open cuts. I refused to heal like a werewolf because deep down I still knew that I needed to suffer at least some.

    "I love you Skylar and there is no way that I'm going to let you do this to yourself. You may be experiencing some depression and I'm going to figure out a way to get you out of it. Now let's get your head wound cleaned and then let's get you back to bed so that you can rest seeing as you lost so much blood in such a short amount of time." He said.

OKAY GUYS I HOPE THAT YOU LIKE IT SO FAR AND I'M NOT GOING TO UPDATING UNTIL I GET AT LEAST SIX VOTES THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING!!!!!!!!!