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Get out

    When I woke up me head was pounding and I couldn't think clearly. I sat up and looked around to see that I was in James's room. I got up and hissed in pain as my whole body screamed at me. James walked into the room without a shirt on and I just stared at him. When he noticed that I was up a sad look crossed his face. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

    "Well, I've felt better." I replied and stood up. I stretched ignoring the pain that coursed through my entire body.

    "I have to go. Thank you for taking care of me, but while my mother is still in this house I can't be here." I said and turned to leave.

    "You lived here first, just tell her to get out. If you don't I will." He said and I stopped in my tracks.

    "You know what, you're right. After everything I've been through I should just tell her to get out." I said and walked out of his room and into mine.

    My mother was sitting on my bed playing on her laptop and I walked over and closed it. She looked up at me and scowled. "What the hell do you think you're doing you little bitch?" She screamed.

    "Get out." I replied without showing any emotion.

    "You can't tell me to get out; you aren't the one that invited me." She told me while smirking.

    "Maybe not, but now that you don't have control over me and you haven't drugged me I can take your ass down. If you don't want to end up bloody and on the streets I suggest that you get out with all of your stuff right now." I informed her.

    She huffed, but started getting her things together nonetheless. I smiled and watched as she headed out of the house and into her car. When she was gone I walked into the bathroom attached to my room and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I reached up with my hand to feel the raised skin of my face from the bottom of my right eye to the top of my jaw bone. The skin was rough, red, and puffy. I knew that it was going to scar and the thought brought tears to my eyes.

    I couldn't believe that in one way the 'program' had won. They broke me, I was crying and they had left a mark on me. Well, they have left many marks on me, but I always took pride in that they hadn't been able to get my face, but they have marked my face now. I failed and they won.

    Tears rolled down my face and I closed my eyes trying to get them to stop. They just kept coming and I slid to the tiled floor of the bathroom. I buried my face in my hands trying to make the tears stop. The one thing that I've been afraid of my entire life just got the best of me. It mights seem that they lost because I escaped, they won. They made me crumble and become weak.

    Arms wrapped around my shoulders and I looked up through my blurry eyes to see James. "Why do they want me so bad? Why do they have to keep coming after me if I'm just going to get away from them every time? I just want to be able to live a life where I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder every two seconds wondering if they're going to find me again. Why does it have to be me?" I cried into James.

    "I don't know Skylar, I just think that they did such a good job with you that they don't want to risk trying it with anyone else. You're just too perfect." He whispered.

    I shook my head and buried my face in his chest. "I'm the opposite of perfect. I've killed innocent people just so that they wouldn't kill me. I had to turn off my emotions so that I could actually do it and I did. I'm a monster." I sobbed. 

    He rubbed my back soothingly not attempting to talk anymore which I was glad for. He just sat there holding me while I cried on him. When I finally ran out of tears I pulled away avoiding his gaze. "I'm sorry about your shirt. I'm sorry that I unloaded everything on you, you don't deserve any of this." I whispered and pulled away from him while pushing myself all the way across the bathroom so that I was as far away from him as the room would allow me.

    "Skylar, you don't have to apologize. Oh, and there is the fact that I killed innocent people too. I'm not perfect either Skylar, nobody is." He whispered as he started walking towards me.

    "Can you give me a little while so that I can just think?" I asked him. He nodded and walked out of the room. I was just sitting there looking at the wall while I was trying to get my breathing under control. I started to bang my head against the wall while more tears rolled down my face.

    There is something wrong with me. I'm addicted to fighting and I just can't think of anything else right now. Even though I keep saying that I want to be good and I don't want anything to do with the 'program' I just can't deprive myself from fighting. I love the thrill that you get while you're going against someone that is two times your size of the rush that you get when you win.

    There was something inside me that kept telling me that I had to stay here so that I didn't hurt anybody or kill them. In the state that I'm in I'm sure to hurt someone if I go out. I stumbled to my feet and made my way down to the home gym. I started to run around the track hoping that I would get tired enough that I couldn't fight and I wouldn't hurt anybody.

    Maybe if I could make it until the morning then I could go to somebody and get some help. I can't think of anything else that I can do that will same the lives of the people that would get hurt. However, there is nothing that can save the people that I've already taken the lives of.

    I ran until I collapsed on the ground. My eyelids became too heavy to keep open and I started to dream as soon as my eyes closed. 

In Dream

    I was standing in a dark alley wearing only a tank-top and shorts. There was a brick wall behind me and that prevented me from going that way so I started walking forwards. My feet were bare and were getting wet from the wet substance on the dirty ground of the blacktop in the alley. I started to hear footsteps coming towards me and I couldn't escape. I ran back to the brick wall and pressed my back up against it.

    Five men in all-black clothes came forwards out of the darkness and two of them were holding someone in between them. The person growled and started thrashing in their hold. The person looked up and I gasped. It was James.

    Anger boiled in my veins and I couldn't even think straight. My breathing started to get heavy and I saw red. They had James! They so weren't going to get away with this. "Let him go and I'll let you live." I growled.

    They all started to laugh and my hands curled into fists. I took a few long strides forwards and punched the guy closest to me so hard that he fell to the ground unconscious. The second guy came towards me and I punched him in the stomach. He tried to trip me, but I jumped so that I could avoid falling and kicked him in the face while I was still in the air. He fell to the ground with a groan, but didn't try to get back up. 

    The third guy came towards me trying to punch me. I dodged it and grabbed him by his throat and threw him against the brick wall with so much force that the wall had a dent in it and his body fell limply to the dirty ground of the alley.

    I turned to the last two guys that were holding James and I looked at them with a scowl on my face. If you let go of him now and get on the ground nothing bad with happen to you by the hands of me." I gritted through my teeth. They let him go and keeled down on the ground. James turned to them and punched both of them in the face.

    James turned around and smiled at me. I gave him a weak smile and then frowned. He walked towards me and grabbed my face between his hands and pressed his lips to mine. I didn't respond at first because I was in shock, but quickly recovered and our lips moved in sync.

 End of Dream  

    That's when I woke up and looked around. I was still in the gym and I sighed in relief. Why and how am I still alive? I asked myself before heading upstairs.

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