Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《14》The Madness in your Eyes

I walked through the halls feeling very little.

I didn't care why Suho called in a meeting.
I didn't care about anything.
It had worked-

When I finally made my way down from the rooftop, I had felt numb.
Hollow.
Empty.

It was as if Jimin had slowly, over the last weeks, filled that hole in me that had always been empty.
Had never known what it was like to be filled.
I had not been so aware of it before.
But now that that hole knew what it felt like to be filled, it sucked me right into it's void.

I did the right thing though.

I finally made the right choice.
To let Jimin go.
To make him hate me.
To make him give up that stupid, ridiculous notion that I was someone who could be saved.

Perhaps I was always meant to walk this path by myself.
At least no one else but me got hurt.
I didn't bother knocking at the door to the cemetery, only walked straight in.

But as I looked at the walls- the massive graveyard it depicted, a thought rose suddenly to the front...
Kyung-Ho.

Perhaps this was the room he died in- where he took his own life.
And as a memory to him, Suho had made this his resting place.

But no.... that would mean Suho had cared about him.
And from what Jimin had told me, Suho had stood laughing and spaced out of his mind over his grave and called him a weakling.
A coward.

Speaking off- he sat in his armchair now, watching me approach.
But something was off.

"Where are the others? I thought you called for a meeting?"

At least that's what Chen had said when he had come barging into my room ten minutes ago.
But Suho was alone.

"Come, Bunny," he called out and waved me over.
When I stood before him, he only shot me a warm smile and handed me a drink.

"What's this?"

"We should toast!"

"To what?"

"You!"

I shot him a confused look but he only motioned me to sit.
With the drink in my head, and my confusion rising, I did.

"Cheers," he beamed, way too happy for some reason, but I set the glass to my lips and drank with him.
A heavy mixture of Tequila and fruity juice, burning down my throat with a bitter aftertaste.

"So... are you going to tell me what I did to deserve this?"

Suho chuckled and stood, then came to my side and sat in Sehun's chair, the one right next to mine.
His eyes sparkled with something I couldn't name.

"I decided to make you officially move up a rank. Which means you are now, by my royal decree, an official member of X-EXO! What do you say to that?"

I said very little, sitting there utterly dumbfounded and staring at him open-mouthed.

"Why?"

"Why?" he echoed, like I was asking silly questions.

"Isn't that what you always wanted, Bunny? I thought you'd be hopping around the room by now in joy!?"

I quickly plastered a smile on my face, nodding vigorously before taking another, long sip, drowning nearly half the glass.

"Yeah.. no, I mean it is!"

"Exactly! This is a time for celebration, Bunny. It'll go on for days!"

I continued staring at him.
He sounded so excited- downright beaming.
It made no sense.