Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《17》A New Beginning

My lungs felt like bursting, my heart beating so fast, it tried to beat itself out of my chest.
But I kept pushing on.

Kept forcing my feet to take another powerful, flying step, propelling me forward, even though I felt the fatigue in them, the trembling, protesting muscles.

I loved this very moment.
When everything inside me told me to give up- to stop.
That I couldn't take a single step more.

And then I took another.
And another.
Proving myself once and for all, that I am not weak, and I will not give up ever again.
I will never run from a fight again or turn my back on the people who love me.

I know who I am now.
I know where my place is.
Where I belong.

And so I sped up a little more, just to finally hear that little, frustrated growl next to me.
Another reason why I was hell-bend on pushing my body to the limit.
For those footsteps next to me grew weaker, falling behind as did the heavy breaths which had been breathing down my back not a second ago.

I smiled through my explosive exhales and went even faster.
That was the thing: if you broke that voice in your mind that told you you cannot go on- that you have to stop... if you beat it only once, you found it so much easier to do it twice, and a third time, until the victory of proving it wrong gave you such a thrill, you were basically unstoppable.

My thrill did not only come from defeating that voice, but knowing I was winning.
Again.
And there, in front of me, the finish line flew towards me at a mindgobbling speed.
I didn't slow down.
I rushed for those two towers of crushed cars with a red car-plane connecting them at the top.

Another low growl and then those footsteps drew a little closer again.

I only allowed a wicked smile to show on me face as I turned to the red-faced boy behind me.
And then I gave it my all.

I flew over the grass and rushed for that finish line.
I raced through it with a loud, victorious yell, but then had to do my best to slow down.

That's another thing- trying to tell your body it's okay to relax again after you pushed and pushed it to it's limits.
My breathing was erratic, my legs like rubber as I hunched over, hands on my thighs, and took heavy gulps of air.

Until a second body made it past the car-plane and didn't so much as take one step behind before falling into the grass with wide-spread arms and face up to the sky.

I watched his chest expand and deflate in an erratic rhythm for a minute, still smiling to myself before I finally moved towards him.
Now came the best part- gloating.

I leaned over him, still standing, and the boy blinked his eyes open- which immediately narrowed.

"Don't even-"

"You lost. Again!"

Jimin growled, his teeth bared yet I knew he wasn't truly angry at me.
Not when the glitter in his eyes always spoke the same: that he would gladly loose to me if it made me feel better.

It did.
I really, really loved to win.
But I let him pretend to be angry and sulky with me for a moment longer.

"Next time you challenge me, you should remember this, ChimChim. You can't beat me anymore."

I loved calling him that.
It suited him so well... so cute and adorable.

Jimin let loose a growl and said: "It's just because of your damn, long legs. Totally not fair."

I didn't hold my laughter back as I chuckled loud and warm above him, then came a little closer, bending down and offered him my hand.

A hand- like he had once offered me, even though I hated thinking back to that time.
I left it all behind me, and if I told myself that lie long enough, perhaps I would one day believe it.