Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《43》Truth Untold

We were all perched into the trailer of the canopy that served as our living room.

Two massive sofa's were build up side by side to allow all seven of us to find comfortable resting positions.

Usually, there was always music on, beers clinking, my Hyung's laughing or bantering around.
Some pretty stupid, reckless ideas had been born in here and I treasured every memory of hanging out with the six of them.

Tonight, however, the atmosphere was tense, heavy, dripping with out bleeding hearts.

I was torn between just running away, hiding in a dark room by myself so I could somehow deal with all of todays events and with finding out what Namjoon had meant.
That it had been Kwang-Sun, not Lian, talking to us today.

But no matter how desperately we had begged or how many questions we fired, Namjoon refused to answer.
Ordered us to get dry first, get changed, then meet in the living room.

And now we all sat here, waiting.
Waiting for Namjoon to finally explain what the hell was going on.

He entered last, having changed out of his dirty, wet clothes and replaced them with a grey, long-sleeved hoodie and comfortable tracking pants.

He met our impatient, desperate stares with a little sigh, then let himself drop in the single armchair, having pulled it towards the middle so he could face us all.

I exploded first: "Tell us what you meant!"

"What did you mean when you said she was protecting us?"
Hoseok asked at the same time.

And then Tae's croaky, torn voice: "You think she'll come back?"

He looked at Tae then, his eyes sad.

"No. Not by herself. Her father won't allow it."

That had us all sit straighter.

"Her father? Are you saying-" Yoongi started with wide eyes.
"That he knows?"

Namjoon nodded slowly, then did something out of character as he let out an annoyed growl and rubbed his face with his hands.
Almost like he didn't know how to go on speaking.

Namjoon... not knowing how to say something...
It was a day of firsts.

But it hurt seeing it.
Hurt knowing that it was all this crushing burden on his shoulder.

But he eventually dropped his hands from his face again, then met our eyes calmly, having collected himself again.

"I will tell you everything. I think it's time. But... I need to make something clear.
It's not pleasant.
And you might hate me for the choices I made, but I want you to listen to the end.
And I hope you know that if there had been another way, I would have taken it."

We were all silent.
It was so very weird to be so silent in here that you could hear a pin drop.
Here, in the room where laughter was usually a constant.

"What are you saying?" Jin breathed, quiet and perhaps even a little afraid.

He might have been right to be as Namjoon said: "Because I knew this was going to happen. Actually, I've only been waiting for it."

Yeah.
I should have run and hid in a dark room, preferably somewhere high up.
I really couldn't tell how much I could take tonight.

And as if sensing it, Jimin, who had naturally taken a seat next to me, snuggled a little closer, our intertwined hands squeezing tighter, supporting each other and hoping to get the strength we needed for this conversation.