Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《25》The Case

I nearly threw another clock at Hoseok's head when he entered my trailer and woke me, and this time it wouldn't be by accident like last time.

My head was but one raging, throbbing beast, using an anvil to hammer into my head like it was digging for gold.

I just wanted to keep sleeping, hiding in my bed and let the world go on without me.
I really had no intentions of dealing with last night's catastrophe or the guilt already haunting me.

I had left him.
Again.
I had pushed Jimin away, again.

He wouldn't forgive me, not this time.
He wouldn't understand, not this time.
And perhaps I finally did it.
Perhaps I finally managed to make the one person who always believed in me, give up.
I wouldn't blame him.
Not this time.

But Hoseok wouldn't go, kept nagging me and poked my ribs with stingy objects, then simply ripped my duvet off me.
I snarled in anger, then groaned in pain, and only then dragged my ass out of bed to get dressed.

Why of all days was Namjoon calling in a meeting in the Black Swan today?
I really didn't think I would be able to concentrated with my headache and my messed up emotions.

And it got worse.

For when I stepped out of my trailer, the sun hurting my eyes, I caught sight of none other than Jimin, waiting for me with Hoseok by his side.

Our eyes met and widened, before a look of such potent hurt crossed Jimin's features, I came to an abrupt stop.
I did this.
Again.

But he looked away, and then simply ignored me, his lips pressed into a thin line.
He said nothing as I approached.
Did not say good morning or glanced my way again, even ignored Hoseok's poor attempt to lighten up the mood.

Sorry, sunny boy, but not today.
Nothing would be able to make me feel better about this mess I've caused...

The moments after our kiss, after I had gone to that bar was blurry at best, but I did remember that Namjoon said something about Jimin being shitfaced too before I had passed out in the car, the happenings after that blank.
I didn't even know how I got into my bed.

We descended the stairs to the bunker and I immediately headed for a seat.
I didn't want to, but I noticed how Jimin took the seat furthest from me, like he couldn't endure my presence.

My mood fell even more.
This could hardly get worse.
But then Namjoon stood, the rest of us in a circle around us before he announced with a serious frown on his face: "We need to talk about Lian. Maybe we should tell her everything."

"You want to do what?" I winced at Taehyung's incredulous shout, having shot to his feet and staring at our leader like he couldn't be fucking serious.

But Namjoon only levelled him a cool, long look, his expression unreadable.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, dangerous and stupid.
But she is nothing like we expected her to be. She might actually understand and help us," he explained with a reasonable voice.

But Taehyung seemed only more agitated, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Are you fucking insane? You want to tell her that we shadowed her since the moment she and her family moved to Seoul? Or that we spend weeks observing her in order to figure out how to best approach her? Or maybe you want to tell her why we decided to reveal our sad, fucked up life stories: So she would pity us and pour out her heart? And all of that to get to her father? To destroy her family? You are saying we should tell her all that?"

I cringed again.
He had a point.
Hearing it out loud it sounded pretty bad.

But I stuck with my earlier observation.
I really couldn't deal with this entire problem now- couldn't think about loosing Lian too when I was already doing such a great job fucking up my relationship with Jimin.
I didn't need more problems.