Costuming the Band

White Wedding

"I am so nervous I am gonna throw up" I said sitting on the end of the bed. 

"Calm down today is supposed to be happy, one of the happiest days of your life in fact" Angie said sitting down next to me and rubbing my back. 

"There is nothing to worry about, today is about you and Josh and that is all that matters" Kenzi said sitting down on my other side. 

"It is a small relaxed event, everyone here is here to support you" Jita added as she stood in front of me and took my hands in hers. 

It just all felt so real, Josh and I were getting married. Jita was right, we planned a very small wedding with only our family and close friends. It seemed like the best idea especially now with us having the twins who were already 4 months old. 

The planning actually went by very smoothly even with our short time frame. The whole thing was happening at the house and so we just rented chairs and tables for the backyard and got some food catered for the small group of people. As for my dress, Kenzi found one from the 80's at a thrift store and we spent our free time altering it to my liking. Most of the lace was kept and then we took the supports out of the sleeves and ditched the petticoats so that the dress was flowy. The last step was dying it, something I knew my mother hated the idea of but I has always dreamed of having a black wedding dress. The color I ended up liking though was this dark grey with a tinge of forest green. 

"Knock, knock" a voice said as Karen poked her head into the room. "How are you doing darling?"

I got up from the bed and made my way to hug Karen. "Freaking out but other than that I am fine" I said making her chuckle. 

"Well everything is going to be great" Karen reassured me as she pulled out of our hug and took my upper arms in her grip. "The boys are getting ready in the basement and Ronnie is helping to put finishing touches on everything downstairs. And those beautiful twin girls of yours are going to be all tuckered out by the time the ceremony rolls around because the ring barrier and flower girl won't leave them alone." 

I laughed at Karen's statement knowing that Bowen and Leah had been obsessed with the babies ever since my sister had arrived this morning but she was nice enough to watch them while I got ready.  I took a deep breath and hugged Karen again quickly. "Thank you" I choked out trying not to cry, "is my mom here?" 

Karen smiled but in one of those trying to comfort me to make me feel better ways, "not yet but Dave and Jeff are ready and keeping the boys in line in the basement." 

It hurt to know my mom was not here with me in this big moment but it was not surprising either. I also felt a pain in my chest as I thought about how my dad was not here. My whole life I had always said I did not want him to walk me down the aisle but now that I did not even get the chance to make that decision, I was hurt. 

The front door opened downstairs and and I could hear Ronnie greeting people which let me know guests were arriving. "I guess I should get my dress on now" I laughed shaking my thoughts from my head. 

"You got this" Karen said kissing me on the forehead and slipping back out of the room. 

"She is right you know" Angie said which made me turn back around to the girls who were all still near the end of the bed. 

"And we do have to get you in that dress, we worked too hard on it for you to not spend as much time at possible in it" Kenzi said walking over to the closet and taking out the garment bag before she unzipped it. 

They helped me into the dress and did up the covered buttons that ran down the back of the dress. I slipped on my shoes knowing that as soon as I could I would be removing them.