I'M NOT FOR YOU (JENLISA) (adaptation story)

Cap. 33 - sound of pain, sound of relief

- Shall I pour you another? - A typical bartender would ask a certain blonde who had been drinking for several hours at the bar. She hadn't really had much, but rather the glasses lasted a long time, usually only two or three or less if the beating came earlier.

Lisa nodded and moved her glass for the man to put whatever liquid was inside the container, she didn't care much that she drank as long as she was strong and did much more unless she was hit.

Once she had her glass full she looked at the bar where she had arrived after walking for several hours. It wasn't as crowded as the ones he used to go in more often, but at least there were quite a few groups that she could use. Lisa took a sip of her drink and the white alcohol burned her throat. She shook her head and held it in, after all it was the least she deserved for doing what she did, the fire burning her mouth was nothing compared to what she had done to Jennie.

- Shit! - Lisa hit the bar drawing the attention of the bartender and some other lonely drunk - Shit! - hit him again.

- Hey buddy! - The bartender had a face of little patience - The one who breaks pays - warned her before the bottles and glasses that the blonde made tremble with each blow.

Lisa didn't even look at the man. She put her elbows on the bar and her head in her hands. Even though she had walked for hours, she couldn't get rid of the guilt she carried in her chest. She didn't understand how she was so stupid to ruin Jennie's life like that. Lisa knew that she was not intelligent and that she needed more time than the others to make up her mind and think about things, she knew that the only thing she could think about was drawings, paintings and tattoos and even so she preferred to refrain from any type of conversation so as not to be ashamed. She just didn't consider herself worth listening to, or at least when she was a girl, silence was the only thing that got her anywhere. The blonde was always the favorite of the people who managed the street children, The blonde simply lowered her head and did what she was asked and when she didn't like something she ran away and that's why she spent so little time being part of the groups. Lisa wasn't smart but she was wise enough to know that if you complained, the "yes substances," as she called the drugs they injected so they wouldn't start rebellions, would come and Lisa didn't like that. Her tattoo artist wasn't smart but she was smart enough to do what the abusive lady in the house asked her to do. Lisa already knew that the woman was going to do whatever she wanted with her or without her consent. In fact, more than once she had been unable to sit down for several weeks because of refusing to collaborate with her and Lisa didn't like that either.

But now it was over, now her stupidity had hit rock bottom, now Lisa had really ruined the only beautiful thing that had ever happened to her. Lisa had gotten Jennie pregnant - Shit! - hit the bar again

- Hears! This is the last time I am warn you! - The bartender yelled at her.

Lisa ignored him again, it wasn't that she didn't want to just that she was used to doing what she liked. She was used to acting on instinct. Lisa was like a little animal that is always careful not to fall into a trap. At first she stayed away, then she got closer little by little, if something smelled bad she would move away and if she didn't, she would end up getting closer. Those were her basic principles, that was how she had grown and that was how she had managed to stay safe and sound, of course, for the people who usually saw her face, the latter was not being fulfilled. But basically the blonde did as she pleased, and she did with Jennie, as she pleased. Lisa should never have had to stop using protection no matter how much she didn't like doing it. I should have thought of Jennie, she should have taken care of Jennie as if the Ex-brunette was the last drop of water on planet earth. Lisa should have protected the most important thing she had. But she didn't, she let herself be carried away by pleasure, if Sister Jane found out she would kill her and if Sister Ana found out she would disappoint her. Lisa shook her head thinking about the twins, it was the two of them who had taught the blonde the importance of protection in sexual relationships and now Lisa had ignored them and ruined it.