fixed // luke hemmings

seventeen

She's been here for an hour and all we've done is play video games in complete and utter silence. I should say something first but my mind has gone blank and I feel numb all over. I think she knows it too because every so often her eyes wander in my direction, nervously and I just have to pretend I don't notice.

If only she could say something, save me the awkwardness. But I have to be the one to do it. I didn't invite her over to play video games. I invited her over to talk.

I grab the TV remote and turn it off, before rubbing my sweaty hands together.

"Alex, look-" I start.

"Yes, no I totally get it," she says, quickly, "We need to talk about everything, properly. No lies, okay?"

I nod as she puts her remote down and sighs.

I guess I'm gonna have to be the first one to speak.

Holding my breath, I realise this is the best way to deal with situations like this. The truth.

"I like you, a lot. I may have only just realised but it's taken me a while to believe it myself. And I know it's stupid. How can you like your best friend in a way that's different to friendship? I don't know. But I do know that I have always felt this way and there's nothing I can do to stop it, so I have no idea what's going to happen now. I just need you to know that that kiss? I wanted it to happen, of course I did. You're an amazing person, Alex and anyone who can't see that is either a complete fuckhead or hasn't taken the time to see you for who you are. Honestly, I have no idea what I would do without you. Yeah, I have the lads but you are the one who's been there for me throughout these years. You are the one who I can say anything to because even though you sometimes make fun of me, I know that's just you being you and that's what I love. So yeah, I guess that's how I really feel about you and I have no idea if you feel that way about me too. I may have just fucked everything up so badly and I'm sorry if I have, but I can't hide my feelings for you anymore," I say, without stopping.

It feels so good to finally say that out loud to her but if she doesn't feel the same then I don't know what's going to happen. As soon as I finish saying this, I look straight at her and she's looking straight at me. Her brown eyes are locked on mine and her smile let's me know everything.

"Luke," she begins, "You mean so much to me. And to hear you say all that is just perfect. Because I thought it was just me,"

We both smile so widely and I grab her hands with mine as she leans her head onto my chest. I put my legs up on the couch and she cuddles into me. I couldn't wish for a better moment than this.

Although the only thing that I'm worried about is the school drop-out. How will she react when I tell her?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex's POV

To hear Luke say everything that I've been feeling these past weeks is a big relief. I'm so glad he feels the same. But one big question keeps bothering me. What's going to happen next? Are we dating? Are we still friends? I have no idea what we are and I need to find out.

"So, what now?" I ask, looking up at him as I lift my head off his chest.

He looks at our hands, interlocking with each other's and smiles.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what's going to happen? To us,"

I feel Luke's hands sweating immediately so he lets go of mine.

"I - I don't know," he says, looking down.

I sigh, "Well neither do I,"

His face shows a sign of worry and confusion, mixed. Does he know something I don't?