fixed // luke hemmings

thirty six

Our eyes lock on each others for a few moments. I can feel everyone around us looking, waiting to see what's going to happen. I don't want to be the first to speak because honestly, I have no idea what kind of crap is going to come out of my mouth. I'm embarrassed, scared, anxious, but also excited, interested in what will soon be said. That is, if either one of us decided to speak.

"Holy fuck, Alex,"

Luke doesn't take his eyes off mine as he speaks, almost unsure if I am actually here. I'm scared that if I look away, he won't be there when I look again.

Michael turns his head to me and nudges me, "Say something," he says, quietly.

I can't speak. No words are coming from me. I can't think right at all. It's not like I had a speech prepared or anything special.

So instead I turn my back to him, I remove my eyes off of his, I completely break down inside. He spoke to me, something he hasn't done in 2 years. Although, it's not his fault and I don't blame him for not wanting to get in touch with me.

"I'm sorry," I get out, the only words I can actually say.

As I'm faced in a different direction, I see Calum with his head still poking round the door. He quickly flaps his arms around in order to get Ashton's attention. He must notice eventually because he grabs Michael and they head towards the separate room. They both give me a sympathetic smile on their way out. I smile back.

I decide to turn back around and make my way onto the couch. Luke follows and perches beside me; I can feel his eyes on me. After half a minute, I open my mouth, ready to speak properly for the first time, but Luke beats me to it. He gets up and starts pacing back and forth, tapping his fingers onto his leg, thinking I guess.

"You never answered my calls, texts, emails. I went to your house the day after I saw you but you weren't there. I kept going, everyday, but it had been a week and then we had to go,"

"I was on hol-"

He interrupts and stops pacing, "I missed you,"

My heart skips a beat. He missed me.

"Me too," I say, "I missed you so much,"

I begin to cry for the hundredth time today. Luke comes and sits beside me again. He looks slightly scared, not sure if he should comfort me or not.

"I'm sorry Luke, for everything. I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am. If I could go back and change what happened that day then I would. Looking back on it, I can't believe I was so fucking stupid to be angry at you for doing what you love. I could have brought you down, ruined your whole career. I'm sorry I never realised you would make it this big. I was horrible and selfish to think that the band wouldn't do anything great. Thank you for proving me wrong," I choke out, my cheeks wet with tears.

Suddenly I feel Luke brush his finger over my cheek, wiping away the tears. I look up at him and he removes his finger, before shaking his head.

"Don't," he grins, "Please don't apologise-"

"Don't apologise?! I ruined everything, Luke! Not just for you, but me too; my family; Ruby-"

"Ruby?" he questions.

I glare at him for changing the subject on purpose.

"Ruby, my best friend. She's obsessed with you,"

He takes his eyes off me and looks around, "What? Is she here?"

I hit him softly on the shoulder and he winces, "Alex! What the fuck!"

"Stop changing the subject," I plead.

As much as I love him, right now there's just a lot that needs to be said and there's not much time to say it.

He smiles, "Okay, okay, sorry,"

We talk for a little while; about what happened the day I left. He tells me exactly what Michael said. He'd been miserable for ages. I feel horrible sitting here right now, hearing him say how bad he felt. It's my fault we both felt like shit. I know it's my fault and deep down, I think Luke knows it too, but there's no way he would ever admit that.

A few minutes later and a backstage worker comes in, explaining that they need to get back out there.

Luke immediately looks at me, as if asking for permission.

I nod, "I'll get Ruby,"

Luke and I head into the other room to get the others, who are all playing some stupid Xbox game. Except Ashton, who is walking around them, worrying about what the fans will think when they go back on stage.

"It's time to go," Luke says, causing Ashton to whip his head round and rush out, giving me a quick hug on his way.

Ruby stops playing and looks at me, her eyes wide with excitement.

Michael and Calum also stop playing and they head out, chasing after Ashton.

"See you out there, guys!" Calum yells to me and Ruby, once he's out the door.

Ruby comes out and we stand next to each other.

"I just played video games with 5SOS," she says, calmly, but grinning.

"Actually, 3/4 of 5SOS," I say in response.

She's just about to fangirl to me, when Luke interrupts.

"Um, so here's my number," he says, handing me a piece of paper, "You can call me, or text me whenever,"

I smile, "Thanks,"

Then we just stand in silence before Luke realises he has to go.

"Bye Alex," he says, a smile on his face as he leaves.

Ruby coughs and he yells 'bye' to her from the door.

"Alex, oh my God!! This just happened, that just happened, you met Luke, you met them all - well so did I, but holy shit, we played video games and I had a conversation with them and now I think I'm gonna cry because it's over," she says, jumping and grabbing my hands.

"Don't cry," I say, laughing, "Because everything's great now. Because we're gonna go back and enjoy the concert and then tomorrow I'll text Luke and who knows what's going to happen,"

She takes a deep breath, grinning, "You're right. Come on,"

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hello ok thanks for reading this! i'm sorry it took me a while to update, but i have now and i hope all is forgiven :)))

I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR 2016 YOU DESERVE TO MEET YOUR FAVES AND BE HAPPY WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING A PART OF MY 2015 I LOVE YOU LOTS