fixed // luke hemmings

thirty two

"You can't stay in bed forever," my mum calls, as she passes by my bedroom.

"Watch me," I mumble back.

It's Monday afternoon and mum let me have the day off school, mostly thanks to Richard. I've spent all day in bed, watching countless episodes of Teen Wolf on my laptop and only ever leaving my room in need of the toilet.

Ruby's been texting me all day, filling me in with the gang. Apparantly, Finn was super quiet at lunch and Ethan started on him (she didn't tell me why) which lead to a fight, physically.

She also said she would come over after school, mainly to see if I'm okay, but of course she needs help with homework.

"Look, Alex. I'm trying to understand how you're feeling right now, okay? But staying away from school is not helping,"
My mum comes into my room and places herself at the end of my bed, right beside my feet.

I groan, "But you don't understand, that's the thing,"

I pull the covers over my head and sink down into my bed, my back to my mum, hoping that she will leave.

"No, I don't. But I do know that you can do better than this. Especially over a boy,"

Did she seriously just say that?

"What? Luke isn't just a boy, he was my best friend! How would you like it if you were in my position? I've been feeling like shit for these past 2 years, thinking about him everyday! But when the opportunity comes to see him, of course it doesn't go to plan. Because that's just what my life is like! Nothing ever goes my way!"

She sighs, apologetically, "Darling, just think about school. Please,"

I roll my eyes at her as she leaves my bedroom. I can't believe she could say that (and think that!) about Luke! How stupid is she?

For once I thought maybe she would understand my situation, but I was just as wrong as I have ever been. I was stupid to think that anyway. The only person who possibly understands is Luke. But he's not exactly the one who got stood up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby pays a me visit after school, along with countless sheets of homework that I've missed just in one day.

We're both doing one of the English sheets, neither of us mentioning yesterday, but I really want to ask about Finn and Ethan.

"Wait, so I've been spelling 'environment' wrong my whole life?" Ruby asks, confused.

"Um, yes," I answer as I lean over my desk to look at her paper.

"Well fuck this then," she sighs, "I'm done with English,"

I laugh at her and she puts the sheet back into her school bag. When she sits back up, I bring the question to her.

"Why did Ethan beat up Finn?"

First she looks at me, her mouth open, thinking I wouldn't want to know.

"Okay well, Finn was grieving over you all day and I guess Ethan finally had enough. He just got up and said how badly he treated you and how he deserves all the shit he got. Something like that. You know, I'm starting to think that guy isn't such a player anymore," she smiles.

"Wow, really? I wish I were there to witness that," I say, laughing.

We spend the next few hours gossiping and laughing at everything that happened at school. I like this. This is what it's like to be a normal teenger. Simply just chatting with your friends about other people. This is what it should always be like. Not being depressed all the time because your ex best friend/lover is now in an almost worldwide famous band touring with One Direction and probably forgetting you ever existed.

It's 2 weeks until the concert and I'm still 95% sure I'm not going to chicken out. It's not like he's going to see me there anyway as there are thousands of other girls. He might even have forgotton what I look like.

"I still feel bad, you know," Ruby says.

"What?" I ask, looking up from the desk, "What for?"

She raises her eyebrows at me, as if it were obvious.

"For getting you tickets to this concert!"

Right, that.

"Oh,"

I'm about to tell her there's no reason for her to feel bad, but she interupts me.

"I would say that you don't have to come but you do. Not for me but for yourself. Well maybe just a little bit for me because I have wanted this for ages. But go because you want to. Go because what's the worst that could happen? They notice you? Luke brings you into his arms? You fall in love or whatever? You become rich and famous for being his girlfriend? You buy a massive fucking house together? He tells you how he would feel so happy if your best friend, Ruby, moved in with her boyfriend, Michae-"

Laughing, I reach over and pull her into a hug.

"I'm coming, okay. And not for any of that. There's a tiny tiny chance he'll see me but you're so right. What's the worst that could happen? There is literally nothing I should be worried about by going to a concert with my best friend. Thank you for talking some sense into me finally,"

Ruby smirks, "I knew I would be able to convince you 100%"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok holy fuck i have a lot to say so let's get on with it

first of all i'm sorry for the v late update i have had such little free time bc of homework and school and shit

secondly in the next 2-3 chapters, something is GoING TO HAPPEN SO NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO STOP READING OL TISJS

thirdly i haven't talked about mitam so i just want to say i'm so super proud of the boys and they deserve all the good things they get in life bc they worked so hard for it and i just really fucking love them

oK THAT'S IT thank you for reading ilysm xox