fixed // luke hemmings

twenty five

Ruby told everyone she knows about me and her going to see 5SOS, even Richard and my own mum. After I told her that I'd go (and after some screams from Ruby), we stayed at mine while she called everyone to let them know. Mum came home a couple of hours later and was immediately greeted by Ruby at the front door, who excitedly told her the news. I could tell she was shocked at me for telling Ruby about Luke but she did seem happy that I was planning on going to the concert.

"You'll feel so much better once it's over," she said when Ruby had left.

I don't know if she meant the concert or the constantly thinking about Luke when she said it would be over. But whatever she meant, I'm not sure I want it to be over. I like thinking about Luke all the time, no matter how much it hurts me because it shows I still care, right?

When Richard came home soon after, mum tried to stay quiet about it all. Although he knows about the Luke situation, he doesn't much like getting involved, which I don't mind. It's good that I don't have to tell him everything, despite the fact he's my stepdad-to-be.

It's been an hour since mum found out and she hasn't really spoken to me about it. Whether that's because she wants to give me some space or she simply doesn't think it's a big deal, I don't know.

Now I'm sitting on my bed with my earphones plugged in, although there is no music playing. I've decided to try and learn a few of the boys' songs, not only for Ruby's sake but for my own. I just can't bring myself to press play. As soon as I hear their voices, I'll be reminded of the past and that will make me an emotional wreck so it worries me how I will cope at the concert. A while ago I downloaded some songs of their's but my finger has been hovering over the play button ever since.

"Stop being so stupid," I tell myself out loud.

I breathe in and quickly put my earphones in my ears and press play before I can stop myself.

The first song that comes on is Amnesia, a single from their album which I've only heard once or twice on the radio. It immediately makes me think of the past and how I want to forget about it all. But I don't. I want to keep the memories. Even if it's the most difficult thing for me to do.

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An hour later and I've memorised 4 of their songs; Amnesia, She Looks so Perfect, Don't Stop and Beside You. I know there are loads more I should listen to but I think that's enough for tonight.

I stop the music put my phone away in my drawer so I'm not distracted to keep listening. The songs are great, really amazing, but I can't help feeling abonded and upset that I haven't been there with them on their journey.

"Knock knock,"

I lift my head up and look towards my door, where I see my boyfriend, leaning against the frame, grinning.

"Hey," I force a smile, "What are you doing here?"

Finn makes his way over to my bed and sits down, crossing his legs opposite me.

"Well we didn't get to finish our honework so I was thinking maybe we could do it now?" he asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

I glance at the clock on my alarm that reads 8:30pm. All I want to do now is lie in bed and do nothing but sleep. I couldn't care less about what Finn has in mind.

"Look, I know we were, um, interupted earlier, but Ruby had a good reason. And if I'm honest, I think I might be coming down with sonething. I wouldn't stay for long if I were you," I say, fake coughing.

He takes in my oversized t-shirt and black leggings and nods.

Finn gets up and smiles, bending down to place a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Feel better soon. I'll call you," he says loudly, before walking out the door.

I hear some chatting downstairs between him and my mum but as soon as the front door shuts, I sigh and fall back onto my bed.

Did I just make an excuse not to hang out with Finn? I guess so.

As I start to get up off my bed, I hear my phone vibrating from my drawer so I go to retrieve it.

Ruby: Oscar's driving us to 5SOS, Don't u dare bail on me now loser  !!x

I smile, knowing that I'm doing a good thing for a good friend who deserves it. It may not be what I want, but who knows, maybe something good will come out of it?

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one chapter closer to the concert wHOOP