Can I love again? [a Roman Reigns story]

23 Cheer me up

Sighing, I flushed the toilet and it felt like I was flushing away our dream at the same time. With a heavy heart I went to the sink to wash my hands.

It was clear to me from the beginning that it would not work right away. Nevertheless, I was deeply disappointed. Because of Roman's enthusiasm I had really high hopes for a baby.

Slowly I let myself slide to the floor and leaned my back against the bathtub. Suddenly I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep. But unfortunately I couldn't, because any minute Roman would come home and I had to tell him what was going on.

As if on cue, I heard my husband calling for me from the door.

"Y/N Angel, where are you?" called Roman.

But before I could answer him, he was already standing in the bathroom, looking down at me in confusion.

"What are you doing on the floor? I brought you the test you wanted. Can you take it right now?" he asked with enthusiasm in his voice.

I had forgotten all about that. I had asked him to go to the drugstore after his workout and grab a pregnancy test. I prepared myself inwardly for the disappointment that was about to show on his face.

"I don't need to do that anymore. I just... I just got my period. I'm so sorry, Romeo, but I'm not pregnant," I replied.

I quickly covered my face with my hands. This way he didn't see the tears in my eyes and I didn't have to see his dream shatter. However, it didn't take him 2 seconds to take my hands in his and pull me tightly to him.

"It's okay, angel. It will happen the next time. We knew there was a chance it wouldn't work out right away. Please don't be sad." he whispered in his deep voice.

Roman tried to sound calm, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I knew how he felt, because it was the same for me.

"But you had such a good feeling. And I really thought we had a baby on the way too. I'm sorry." I said softly as I buried my face against his chest.

"What are you sorry for?" he wanted to know.

"For letting you down," I replied.

"Y/N, look at me. You didn't let me down. And I know you think you disappointed me, but that's not true. You could never ever disappoint me. We'll just keep trying. It was just the first attempt. It's not the end of the world. I promise you we'll have our baby. Even though it might take a little time. I just know we're meant to have a baby together," he said as he lifted my chin with his index finger.

"It still feels like it." I breathed while lowering my gaze.

"I know, but it's not true. What can I do to cheer you up a little, hmm?" he asked after giving me a kiss on the forehead.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I didn't feel like doing anything at the moment. I would much rather wallow in self-pity. Even if that wouldn't help me one bit.

"Oh I have an idea. What do you think about a relaxing bath with lavender and Epsom salts. We could bathe together." he suggested.

"As much as I like that suggestion, Romeo. We still need to pack. Because we leave for the airport in two hours to fly to New York," I replied as I pressed a quick kiss to his lips and then got up to pack my bags.

"Wait a minute." he then said.

Roman also rose from the floor and hugged me tightly. He just knew that was what I needed. Whether I said it or not. He could probably just feel it.

"I love you. You know that right?" he asked softly.

"Yes I know and I love you too." I replied with a small smile as I reached for his cheek.

"I just thought of the perfect way to cheer you up," Roman said, smirking proudly.

"Oh yeah? How?" I wanted to know.

"We'll be in NYC overnight. That means you and I, my angel, are going to Balthazar's for breakfast tomorrow morning. Delicious French specialties for my wife." he replied.

"Uhhh really?" I asked excitedly.

"Of course. I remember how much you enjoyed it the first time!" he laughed at my sudden enthusiasm.

"Oh gosh. I can hardly wait for it. I can almost taste the eggs Florentine and the brioche French toast!" I replied.

"And don't forget the café au lait, angel," he added.

"I could never. We really need to get ready now," I said then.

"Roman?" I spoke as we made our way to the bedroom to pack our things.

"Yes, baby?" he replied.

"Thank you for always cheering me up. I know I can always count on you. And I also know that you're going to be a great daddy one day," I said to him as I pulled him tightly into my arms once again.

This was really something that only Roman could do. He pulled me out of the deepest, darkest hole and lifted my spirits. Once again I realized that it was impossible to be sad in his presence. I hoped that soon we would be blessed with a new life that was just like its father.