Life, Love, & Lies

Twenty-Seven

LoLo exits the Uber at the curb after paying her fare, glancing back at the address on her phone, double checking she had the one Zach had sent her the night prior. She was more nervous than she cared to admit about the prospect of meeting with Zach to officially discuss the start of the book idea, the book that would be written about her entire life...

"LoLo?" She jumps hard, cursing under her breath as her phone drops from her hand, landing face up on the sidewalk in front of her. "Whoa, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you so badly." Matt chuckles, reaching down to grab her phone before she can, offering it back to her.

"No you're good, I just... I was distracted, making sure I had the right address for Zach and Chaz's place." She laughs, her cheeks somewhat flushed from embarrassment.

"This is the right place, fifth floor, third, or is it fourth, door to the left of the elevator." He laughs.

"Thanks." She mumbles, taking her phone back.

"Hey, can I actually say something?" He grabs her arm softly as she tries to move past him.

"What's going on?" She nods, very nervous as her mind suddenly jumps to the last time one of the members of the band got her one on one to talk.

"I just want to apologize. I know the first leg of tour wasn't easy for you, and a lot of that was my fault."

"How did you come to that conclusion?" She frowns.

"Well I was a mess, and then in Miami I basically told you that having you around was making my mess a million times worse. I know you had to have felt that, and I'm sorry if you felt the need to hide from the band for my sake. I didn't mean to isolate you like that, or make my problems your problems. I hope the way I acted and treated you on the first leg of tour won't change your decision on joining us for the rest of the world." He shrugs.

"Oh, I mean there were a few times I did feel like I should stay away a little bit, just to make sure you had your space, but I'm also not part of the band so I didn't think it was a big deal, I can hang out with the crew too." She shrugs.

"I know you're closer to the band, at least most of it's members, than you are the crew. And you have earned a soft spot in the band's hearts, I mean Zach especially adores you, but Chaz, Reese, and Milo seem rather attached too. I hope you're still planning on coming to Europe with us next week, I hope I haven't caused you to want to quit." He pushes still.

"You are far from the worst thing that has ever happened in my life, Matt, don't beat yourself up." She laughs, "I'll be on the flight to London next week with everyone. I've been doing research on which area of LA here I would want to live too, in case this little working for the band thing works out longer than just this tour."

"Well I'm glad. And I promise I'm going to try and do better about being a friend, and please, please never feel the need to avoid me or the band over my mood. If I am overwhelmed, trust that I will remove myself from the situation and that in no way reflects on you."

"Thank you for saying that, Matt."

"Of course. Now, I presume Zach is waiting for you? Since Chaz left before I did."

"Ya, book stuff." She chuckles, blushing lightly.

"I'm glad you like books LoLo, Zach really needed someone on tour to nerd out with over books, and it got him to stop rambling about them to us so much. Have fun, I'll see you for band stuff again tomorrow."

"See you then." She nods, turning towards the door into the apartment building, heading inside to find Zach.

"You're late." Zach smirks the moment the door is open.

"Matt caught me outside, apparently he got it in his head that he had the ability to scare me off. He was afraid I was reconsidering the job and that I wasn't going to make it to Europe, or the rest of the world, with the band." LoLo shrugs, stepping around him into the apartment.

"He doesn't realize that him shutting you out was the least of your issues over the last couple months." Zach laughs, "You know, there was the whole being cheated on, confronting your psychopath of a father, watching him die... Matt was for sure the worst though."

"I wish Matt was the worst of my issues, I would have a much more simple life if he were." LoLo laughs, dropping onto the couch in the living room.

"Life would be boring if the worst part of your life was being the doppelganger of his high school ex. It's way more exciting actually being his high school ex, that he of course has no clue you are, hiding all the trauma you have been through, facing your dad alone... I mean, who wants a normal life when you can have that baggage?" He jests, grabbing a tablet off the coffee table and sitting on the couch facing her.

"You do realize how much this book could hurt you to write, right?" She sighs, running a hand through her hair.

"You do realize how much this book could heal you to write, right?" He smiles softly, reaching to brush his hand against her knee.

"It scares me how much I would need to open up to do this, to make this story a reality. I've never had the opportunity to talk freely with anyone about it."

"You shouldn't be afraid to be who you are, to talk about every part of your life and your experience. You have a safe place to do that with me, I promise. There is no judgment in this room, or any room we meet in to discuss this book in any way."

"You're sure I'm worth it? What happens when the band finds out we did this? That I'd lied to them, but also that you have known the truth and kept it from them? Can you handle it if Matt and Milo are angry with you over this? What if it ruins things between you guys? What if writing this book... What if it ruins the band? What if it's that one thing no one can imagine happening that causes the rift big enough to break up Pier 6."

"You deserve the chance to tell them when you are ready, and you deserve the chance to heal through this book, LoLo, and I want to help you with that. If they are mad at me, I will deal with it. It's not my secret to share, and it is not my right to force you to tell them your secret. On some level they will understand that."

"I hope you're right..." She sighs heavily.

"I am, and I have faith in my friends, they may be hurt at first, but I believe they will see, and understand, why we did things how we did if or when this becomes public."

"I'm trusting you, Zach."

"I know, and I appreciate that so much, LoLo, you have no idea. I will not let you down. I promise."

"Thank you. Now, the real question... How do we do this without getting caught?"

"We have an established friendship already, we are often seen at bookshops and away from the arenas together already, maybe the dating rumors stay high, but some of those bookstore trips can be more focused on talking and sorting out the book about you. You can email me, or text me things too, that you think are important. I'll keep all the data and written information on my tablet in a secure folder I have always used for my school work, just in case. I used the secure folder before for extra precaution on my essays, in case someone used my tablet and accidentally deleted something. My annoying need to be overly cautious is now paying off for us though, because everything about the Felicity Abernathy story will be safely behind a secure password, and no one will be suspicious of what I'm keeping there."

"I like that part." She nods, "And you have to promise that not all our bookshop adventures turn to therapy slash attacking my past. I do still like books and some days I will not be mentally in the right space to talk about it, on those days we find books not related to my past."

"Deal. I'm excited to get started."

"Thank you, Zach."

"Stop thanking me, LoLo. I want to do this."

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